Wake up babe, ‘Sad Girl Summer’ just dropped! The antithesis to ‘Hot Girl Summer’, my TikTok FYP has been filled with videos of girls claiming to be in their ‘Gregor Samsa Era’, as the freshly dumped pursue a summer that focuses on feelings and wallowing in sadness and heartache. ‘Sad Girl Summer’ is one that puts ourselves, our mental health and emotions first as we ditch the dating and and grieve over a relationship’s demise. Maybe a hot take, but as someone who has experienced heartbreak at the beginning of the summer period, it’s one of the best times to go through the emotional turmoil of lost love. I mean, think about it, it’s socially acceptable to cry over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s! Summer is a fresh start, one where you can sit outside in the sunshine with your friends supporting you in full force and catch up over an Aperol. I propose combining the confidence and sexiness of ‘Hot Girl Summer’ – and the need for wallowing and healing in ‘Sad Girl Summer’ – into a ‘Sad yet Sexy’ summer that emphasises healthy reflection and moving forward, all while undergoing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) in the sunshine.
In my hybrid ‘Sexy/Sad Summer’, the chief remedy is music. Of course, I’m not alone: according to Spotify Trend’s expert Shanon Cook, there are well over half a million breakup-themed playlists on the platform. We turn to artists to so eloquently convey the depths of despair and loneliness through a catchy melody. My Spotify, for example, has very lovingly crafted a series of ‘Sad Girl’ playlists for each genre after clearly picking up on some questionable vibes from me for the past year – sad country or rap anyone? Music is personal, powerful, and painful, as too often songs are lost to bittersweet memories. However, reclaiming and redefining songs lost to a past relationship can be a beautiful moment to step back, reflect, and recognise what you need and deserve in a person. Argued to be a useful tool in navigating emotions, music provides a powerful sense of catharsis in letting everything go as emotions overwhelm you. As someone who has struggled with depression on and off for the past few years, music has allowed me to be vulnerable with myself and others when I lack the words. It’s a source of comfort knowing that you’re not the only one. However, it’s a damn shame that I cannot play the guitar for shit and am severely lacking in music theory, or I’d be picking up a pen and giving it a creative whirl in the hope of profiting off my own trauma like the many musicians before me – goodbye student debt!
That said, my take is that not every song necessarily has to be sad, or even related to heartache. This playlist is a bit different. Not every moment has to be crying in your room, but could be saying a massive fuck you to the emotional unavailability of a partner that drained you, or a peaceful reflection on the future and its prospects. Whether you were the dumper or dumpee, I’ve crafted a playlist that should fit each situation and each mood using a variety of genres and decades based on my own picks, suggestions from friends, or Spotify itself. Discovering new music is a great love of mine and has always been at its peak as I experience heartache and hope to ‘reinvent’ myself, and so I’ve tried to avoid the obvious picks (sorry Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Since You Been Gone’). I’ve hopefully appealed to a mixture of genres and portrayed the chaos of what it means to heal and move on from the end of an era, hence Bob Dylan juxtaposed with The Beastie Boys – I swear it’ll make sense! Grief works in mysterious ways: maybe you’ll skip a step or fluctuate or repeat all five. Either way this playlist isn’t necessarily in order – or maybe I’m merely justifying my own laziness ;)
- I Know The End – Phoebe Bridgers
I’m fully aware I said no obvious picks, but Queen Phoebe invented the ‘sad girl era’ and sobbing into your pillow. Apple TV’s ‘Shrinking’ summed up what we all experience listening to Phoebe Bridgers as a bike-riding Jason Segel sobs listening to ‘I Know The End’. ‘F*ck you Phoebe Bridgers’ indeed. Kicking off the start of the playlist, Bridgers has you covered for sobbing into your pillow.
- If It Wasn’t For The Nights – ABBA
Having married and divorced one another, ABBA are known for their fair share of woe. The loneliness of spending the night in an empty bed crushing every hope you have of getting through each day is encapsulated in a groovy disco beat, glorious harmonies, and embellished piano in true ABBA style. This song would go perfectly with a glass of vino in hand, twirling around the kitchen… definitely not based on experience.
- I Bet on Losing Dogs – Mitski
The go-to for Kendall Roy fan edits, Mitski knows heartbreak all too well. ‘I Bet on Losing Dogs’ is perfect if you continually entertain the same genre of person who too often leads to disappointment.
- The Adults are Talking – The Strokes
Fun fact: this song goes so hard in German – please look it up on TikTok. Ok, so this song isn’t even about a breakup (rather, a rebellious take against the business world) but if you’ve ever been cheated on or had the misfortune to be gaslit over that person (it happens to the best of us), then this chorus is for you. ‘Don’t go there ‘cause you’ll never return. I know you think of me when you think of her’: The Strokes capture the pain of the realisation that you’ll never trust them again or that your worst fears are confirmed.
- Maggie May – Rod Stewart
We’ve all been victims of a Maggie. Writing in the 70s, Stewart perfectly sums up the pitfalls of the situationship despite the word not even existing back then. Oh, we’ve all had a Maggie whose face we wish we had never seen. The genuine pain in Stewart’s vocals symbolises the exasperating hindsight when strung along for so long. I highly recommend belting this song and, if they have a double syllable name, switching Maggie’s with theirs.
- Post Break Up Sex – The Vaccines
Well… this one is pretty self-explanatory.
- Sabotage – The Beastie Boys
Sure, it isn’t a breakup song, but say theoretically you were on the warpath, desperately wishing to break their stuff (not that I condone this behaviour), let Mike D, MCA and Ad-Rock be the soundtrack to your pure, unadulterated rage. Mixing rap, hip-hop, punk, rock, and metal all into one, The Beastie Boys were able to create a hit consisting of just one chord, drums, a single bass riff, and Adam Horovitz’s vocals, and it is one of the greatest songs of all time. Plus, if you need a break from all the rage, the music video directed by Spike Jonze is bound to cheer you up.
- America – Simon and Garfunkel
Perfect for a melancholy or reflective walk in the park or looking out the plane window on your first solo adventure, Simon and Garfunkel will get you through the existential dread as they seek the meaning of America. Capturing my depression and declining mental health, this song got me through my year abroad as it summarised just how lost, confused, and utterly alone I felt. ‘“Kathy, I’m lost,” I said, though I knew she was sleeping I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why’: this moment shows the fear of vulnerability and restraint, only opening up when you think your partner can’t fully hear.
- Kill Bill – SZA
So, you just discovered they’ve moved on? Not the healthiest behaviour (please don’t kill your ex), but this song slaps: the Gone Girl of music. Hey, at least SZA mentions going to therapy! What a great way to heal!
- Fade Into You – Massy Star
‘I look to you and I see nothing’. OOF.
- Regret Me, Let Me Down Easy, Kill You to Try, More Fun to Miss – Daisy Jones and the Six
I honestly couldn’t pick, I’m sorry. ‘Let Me Down Easy’ describes the situationship, the stringing along coming to an end as you plead for them not to hurt you. ‘Regret Me’ is anger-fuelled as you hear that one of your regrets is chatting shit behind your back. ‘More Fun to Miss’ is absolutely brutal as poor Daisy is forced by Billy to sing the lyrics ‘More fun to miss, than to be with’. It perfectly describes the commitment-phobe who’ll break your heart, as you’ll be more fun to ‘kiss and miss’ than actually be with (was anyone else personally attacked by these lyrics?).’ Kill You to Try’’s: ‘You have no damn right to be so damn heartbroken. Boy it would kill you to try’ outlines the anger when the one who hurt you wants you to validate their upset.
- What Once Was – Her’s
Resonating deep with its nostalgia and desperate chorus, there is a resounding sense of denial in this ‘bit of a sad tune’. Her’s capture the process of grief and not wanting to let go perfectly as the guitar allows you to lie back and let the emotions take control.
- The Night – Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons
Confession: this was the most played song on my Spotify Wrapped. A Northern Soul classic, this masterpiece describes the sheer and utter confusion of being in a seemingly perfect relationship but wanting something else, or someone else, or just something more. If your friends can’t help you break the spell, trust me – Frankie Valli definitely will in his warning that the one who promises everything, the one who ‘paints a pretty picture, tells you that he needs you, covers you in flowers, and always keeps you dreaming’, just isn’t the one for you. So beautifully catchy and easy to dance to, it is an utterly joyful listening experience with its sexy bassline, bold brass, the tension of the strings, and my god those drums! For such an upbeat melody, the lyrics go hard, illustrating just how pesky those nights can be as you’re on the cusp of giving up all you have.
- Charmless Man – Blur
Dated one of these? Damon Albarn has you covered.
- Lover, You Should Have Come Over – Jeff Buckley
In my humble opinion, Jeff Buckley’s voice is one of the most beautiful and haunting to have ever existed. True poetry, no one can ever top Buckley’s romanticism in the lyrics ‘She is the tear that hangs inside my soul for ever; and is the perfect song for the hope that maybe, just maybe, they regret what they did.
- Long Hot Summer – Sports Team
Uncharacteristically laid back for Sports Team, Long Hot Summer for me describes the boredom and frustration of moving back home, feeling stuck in a dead-end, trying to get on after a failed relationship but knowing that at least ‘you’d rather be dead than caught in their web’. Maybe you’re not sure what exactly you’re waiting for or what you’re supposed to do, but you really just don’t care.
- Lose Your Soul – Dead Man’s Bones
Spooky, gothic, and the lead singer is Ryan Gosling, need I say more? For me, this song captures the dull droning of the day and having to just ‘get up in the morning to the beat of the drum’.
- Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell
Pretend you’re Emma Thompson in Love Actually and cry to your heart’s content.
- Saw You in a Dream – Japanese House
Recommended by a friend, ‘Saw You in a Dream’ is about the loneliness of waking up and realising none of it was real. Ideal if you’re stuck in the rose-tinted specs stage and experiencing ‘the perfect hallucination’. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, my friends.
- Nothing But A Heartache – The Flirtations
Another Northern Soul banger, this song puts a groove back in your step, despite the depressing lyrics. Ideal for ‘Sad Girl Summer’, the lyrics describe the sorrow of experiencing nothing but daily heartbreak whilst being ideal for a good boogie.
- Silver Springs, The Chain, Landslide, Gold Dust Woman, Go Your Own Way, actually, fuck it, the entire Fleetwood Mac discography
The tumultuous relationships which defined Fleetwood Mac’s existence have led to a variety of breakup songs which cover all ground. Stevie Nicks’ haunting and pained vocals in ‘Silver Springs’ – in which I’m convinced she is trying to hex Lindsey Buckingham – is perfect for when you want to shout at the top of your lungs and let all the frustration go. Personally, I’ve found ‘The Chain’ to be an excellent song choice for an angry treadmill run that will leave you sweaty and breathless, instead of broody and sexy like its melody. Oh, and ‘Landslide’ is the ideal song for the realisation that your whole life was built around your partner and now you need to start anew.
- Orlando – Leith Ross
A lovely recommendation that I wish I had heard before, this song is therapeutic in its ethereal melody, soothing you through the emotional pain that comes with unrequited love.
- I don’t really like your boyfriend – The Beat
Sent to me by one of my closest friends wayyy back when, this song describes the moment after the breakup when your friends come together to let you know just how much they thought your partner sucked, or how they were truly punching. An enlightening moment.
- Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right – Bob Dylan
Peaceful, poetic and ideal for lying in the sun. Dylan has provided the ideal opportunity for reflection and the final stage of grief with his acoustic guitar and harmonica, as he nonchalantly accepts that she wasted his ‘precious time’ but ultimately doesn’t think twice, it’s all in the past now.
- Choreomania – Florence and the Machine
Described by my friend as ‘pure healing vibes’, this is perfect for just letting loose and getting caught up in the moment. Best if you wear a floaty, bohemian dress and dance barefoot in the grass.
- This Night – Billy Joel
One of the most personally painful, Billy Joel sums up the tragedy of falling for a friend and completely utterly destroying the parameters of the friendship and breaking all promises, even though neither is ready. You both should know better.
- Are You Bored Yet – Wallows
Stuck in a stagnant relationship, only together because of the years of familiarity but each evening is as boring as the other? Wallows, take the lead.
- 911/Mr Lonely – Tyler The Creator, ft. Frank Ocean, Steve Lacy
Tyler The Creator makes it clear in 4 minutes and 15 seconds just how lonely he feels and honestly, I get it.
- Jerome – Lizzo
Even the absolute Queen that is Lizzo has dealt with immaturity. Stand up for yourself and tell them to take their ass back home.
- Gloom – Djo
‘Would Steve Harrington treat me this way?’ – I ask myself as I listen to Djo. Not about a breakup but sure is a great one to channel the anger.
- Safe From Heartbreak – Wolf Alice
The fear of vulnerability after being so painfully broken up with, where you wonder how someone you loved could talk and act so carelessly. It will probably leave a mark.
- I Miss You – Blink 182
Bonus points if you sing ‘head’ as ‘yead’.
- Tell Her This and Spit in the Rain – Del Amitri
‘You can try to figure out why you mean nothing to her now, but you might just as well go spit in the rain’ and ‘Tell her something in my heart needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd’: written from the perspective of the one that cocked it up, both songs give just a glimpse of hope that maybe they feel remorseful for the hurt they’ve caused, or even recognise that you deserved more.
- Here You Come Again – Dolly Parton
A fateful text to you after so much healing destroying all your progress, even dear Dolly understands. ‘Here You Come Again’ whiffs of the bargaining stage.
- Scattered – Green Day
What to do with all the old photographs? Seeing the good times captured just lying on your bedroom floor hurts and makes you want them back more than ever.
- Every Taylor Swift song in existence.
Swift has your back covered on all fronts. I’m not joking, every scenario is covered. Bon Appétit.
- If you know that I’m lonely – FUR
That awkward pity you get from acquaintances and the false pretence you feel you need to keep up.
- Everyone’s a Winner – Flyte
Criminally unheard, Flyte provides some of the most gorgeous vocal performances out there. ‘This is Really Going To Hurt’ breaks my heart on every single listen. Not everyone is a winner, hold on there.
- Planeando El Tiempo – Elsa y Elmar
Suggested by a close friend, I sadly don’t speak Spanish so the meaning is ambiguous in its theme of wanting to do something but not being able to find the right moment. Is it a declaration of love or a break up? Either way, I love this new recommendation.
- The End of the World – Sharon Van Etten
Finding out the person you love has fallen out of love with you truly feels like your world is ending. Eventually it gets better, but ‘The End of the World’ can soothe you for now.
- Surfjan Stevens
Yes, I haven’t included a song because every single one of his songs stings like mad, especially the ones for Call Me By Your Name. If you’re an Elio who has just had their heart broken by an Oliver in their first real summer love then wallow in Stevens’ melodic prose. Best to listen to at the end of August as you know that your paths will never cross again.
- Half a Person, Well I Wonder and Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now – The Smiths
Half ironic, half serious, the suggestion of The Smiths is to be taken lightly. Do not lock yourself in your room listening to Morrissey’s wailing for hours on end. That is self-destruction, not self-care. Hopefully listening to Morrissey whine and whinge speeds up the healing process as you step back and think ‘wow, do I really want to end up like this man?’.
- Under My Thumb – The Rolling Stones
Sometimes we can completely change and not even recognise ourselves when the toxic relationship comes to its end. A satirical take, this song is so damn catchy.
- Dirty Work – Steely Dan
Were you the one making all the effort and compromise? Are you tired of being pushed around?
45. Mama Said Knock You Out – LL COOL J
Once you have purged all the sadness from your system, make the greatest comeback for autumn with this absolute banger. Go on, take the world by storm.
Written by: Amelia Craik
Edited by: Joanne Spence-Thomas