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Fran & Chan: Your Love Life Sorted

We hope you’re settling back into uni life. We’re settling in easy enough to the good old student life – eating rubbish, drinking rubbish, nights out, lazy days; but we’re finding the early mornings and hard work quite a bit harder. But we’ve still found the time to answer your questions! So don’t stop emailing us with all your problems; we will keep them anonymous, like always.

One of my closest friends has recently started flirting with me when we’re drunk on nights out. I find her attractive but I don’t feel anything for her other than friendship. What’s worse, she used to go out with one of my best mates, which is why I know I can’t cross that line, even just for fun. I gave in once and we had a drunken kiss but I knew it was wrong and since then I’ve resisted, but I admit I am struggling. I just don’t know how to handle this situation.

This is a tricky situation, but it’s clear you know what the right thing to do is, especially if you don’t have any real feelings for her. It’s not worth risking your friendship with her or her ex-boyfriend over a bit of fun. However, there could be a chance she does feel something for you more than friendship, which is why you should make it clear that you don’t feel the same towards her. For now, try to avoid situations where you are drunk and where you might give her the wrong idea. Most importantly, do not cross that line.

I have been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of months now and we’ve recently started sleeping together. However, he says he really can’t stand to use condoms. I’m already on the pill from my one previous relationship and I know I am healthy and STI-free as I have regular sexual checks. My boyfriend tells me he is STI-free too. Is it too soon in our relationship to stop using condoms?

Although there is never a ‘right’ time in a relationship to ditch the condoms, the fact that you have to question this at all should show you that you’re not completely comfortable with this. It’s great that you’re on the pill and have regular health checks; it shows that you respect your body, and he should do too. Let’s face it, no boys love to use condoms, but that doesn’t stop the majority of them wanting to be safe and respecting their girlfriend’s wishes. You should make it clear to him that you are not yet ready to stop using condoms and if he’s worthy of you, then he will understand and be more than willing to use condoms for as long as you want to.

I really hate my boobs. I’m so young yet they’re far too big and they’re not firm or upright at all. I have to make sure they’re covered up completely in whatever outfit I wear. I’m too embarrassed to ever let any guys see them and I’m just sick of being so conscious about them all the time.

First of all, you need to realise you are not alone here! So many girls hate their boobs; there are even plenty of girls out there with small boobs who would probably kill for yours! We know it may sound hard but you really have to try to change your way of thinking and try to appreciate what you’ve got. Don’t be so hard on yourself, there’s no harm in covering them up, just as long as you allow yourself to wear whatever makes you feel your best.  And let us make it clear that no girl, no matter what size her boobs, has a perfectly firm or upright pair; not unless they’re fake – and then they’re nothing to be proud of! As for boys, if you don’t feel comfortable enough to let a boy see them, then they’re obviously not the right boy to show them to! You will eventually find that one guy who appreciates your natural body and loves your boobs just the way they are, but until you learn to love them yourself, you’re making it harder for anyone else to.

…Treat her like a queen and she will treat you like a king; treat her like a game and she will show you how it’s played…

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