Hello and a belated ‘Happy New Year’! Sorry it’s been a while but like most of you third years we’ve just had so much work on! But since it’s coming up to Valentine’s Day we made the effort to answer some of your questions in time for the dreaded day. Please keep writing into us with all your love problems and we’ll answer as many as we can, keeping them completely anonymous. Single or taken; make the most of V- Day and enjoy it with those you love: friends, family or partners.
I’ve recently started ‘seeing’ someone – whatever that really means! Now it’s Valentine’s Day next week and I have no idea whether I’m supposed to get him something or not. I do quite like him and would like to, but I can hardly get him a card addressed to a ‘boyfriend’ or to ‘the one I love’, and then if I don’t get him anything I’d feel awful if he does in fact get me something!
Well, you’ve basically answered your own question! Stop worrying about what you’re ‘supposed’ to do and if, like you say, you actually want to get him something then get him something! Get him whatever present you want and then if you really can’t find a card you’re comfortable with then just don’t get him a card, try not to over think things too much. If he feels the same way as you then he’s probably just as worried; just talk to him. Be honest and talk about what ‘seeing’ each other really means and how you both feel about each other and decide together whether or not to get each other Valentine’s presents and cards.
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me last week and I feel like my world is ending. I’m completely lost, and the fact that Valentine’s Day is coming up just makes it even worse. Every single one of my friends is in a relationship and I’m just dreading the whole day! What can I do to make it better?!
We’re sorry to hear about your relationship ending, it must really hurt now but try to remember it WILL get better, it will just take time. As for Valentine’s Day, remember that is all it is: a day. However, you shouldn’t worry so much, even if your friends are all in relationships, now is the time for them to stand by you like true friends should and ditch their partners this V day – they can easily have a date the night before instead! So, arrange a night in with a rubbish movie (nothing love related – a strict comedy or scary movie!) and instead of dreading the day, start looking forward to it and enjoy a fun night in catching up with all your closest friends.
I met a guy at the end of last year through a mutual friend and we were texting a lot over Christmas and now that we’re back at uni we’ve been on a few dates and things are going well but I’ve found out through the mutual friend that he’s planning to surprise me and take me away for Valentine’s Day! It may sound lovely of him, but I’m really not ready for anything like that yet! But I do still want to carry on dating him but I don’t know how this won’t ruin things.
Firstly, stop looking at things so negatively. This guy must think you’re really special if he’s planned this and must think there’s chance of a future, which is great since you want to carry on dating him. However, you should never be rushed into something you don’t want to do. We think the best way to tackle this is with complete honesty; admit to him that your mutual friend let it slip that he was thinking of taking you away and tell him that you think it’s a lovely and generous idea but you’re just not ready for that yet. Also tell him that you’re keen to carrying on dating him and suggest what you’d like to do for Valentine’s Day instead. Hopefully, if he’s worthy of you, then he’ll completely understand and he’ll probably be willing to do something else for Valentine’s Day, he’ll just be happy he gets to spend it with you.
… Love is friendship, friendship is love; if love fails, friendship should remain because friendship is the foundation of love…
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