The first semester is done and dusted; that embarrassing thing that happened around fresher’s week is likely to have been finally forgotten by just about everyone, deadlines are passing and Christmas is well on its way. In the words of Coca-Cola, the “holidays are coming!” In which case, it must be time to tuck into the booze and mince pies, surely?
As we have all been made aware, thanks to the countless premature weeks of Christmas adverts aside from anything else, Christmas is a time of relaxation and recuperation. It’s a time to be spent with family and friends, and, as said adverts so enthusiastically promote, a time of indulgence. At first this seems harmless, but is all our carefree holiday behaviour really as innocent as it appears?
I know you must be thinking ‘party pooper alert’, and I can assure you that being ‘Bah Humbug’ is far from my intention. But why is “But it’s Christmas!” such a widely valid excuse? We all use it (I know I do!), but if Christmas is really about love and charity and all things wonderful, where is the sense in over-indulgence? Autophobia, the fear of being alone, is seemingly actively encouraged at this time of year. Being alone for more than five minutes is advertised as unacceptable Christmas behaviour, so we end up surrounded by mounting social pressure all for fear of, somehow unintentionally, losing the “holiday spirit”. Seasonal alcoholism and over-eating is accepted, encouraged even, though they are entirely self-destructive behaviours. I am not against letting loose or relaxing during holidays; after all, that is precisely what holidays are for. However, I cannot help but wonder whether this “Self-Destruction December” is somewhat an attempt to rid ourselves of the months gone by, in stark preparation for the arrival of the New Year, so that we can once again attempt to re-invent ourselves.
Self-improvement is an important focus at any point in life, and New Year’s resolutions provide the perfect opportunity to muster the motivation to improve oneself. Nevertheless, the constant pressures of today’s society, including a tough job-market and large quantities of perfection-striving media messages, mean that even the best intentions can turn from positive goals to neurotic fixations and damaging behaviours.
In the field of Cognitive-Behavioural Psychology, it is widely accepted that behaviour, thought processes and emotions are all closely intertwined, with each having an effect on the other. It is also commonly believed that after a behaviour or thought-process has occurred once, the familiarity of this then automatically creates a heightened sense of comfort in the individual when that action or thought is repeated. The individual is then likely to become, to some degree, desensitised to the objective effect that the thought or behaviour is having; not only on their own feelings, but also on those around them.
Due to this, negative patterns and cycles of thoughts and behaviours may take place completely unwittingly, simply as a result of allowing oneself to “relax”. At this point, I feel it is important to differentiate between unwinding and unravelling. Christmas is a time for forgiveness, so instead of fuelling that part of us which would rather forget, with alcohol and copious amounts of food, perhaps we should identify our faults and forgive ourselves. The new year is a time of new beginnings, and a time of looking forward to the year ahead. The attempt to entirely reinvent ourselves will inevitably lead to frustration and stress due to the impossible size of the task. Or it will result in guilt when we fail to succeed, and most likely involve a reverting back to the same mechanisms we imposed on ourselves at Christmas to fill the void of self-satisfaction. Instead, why not identify two or three smaller things that you would like to achieve? It is best that these do not all relate to the same thing, as this will give a wider sense of achievement and bypass the potential for obsession over a single area.
For example, if your resolutions are, “I would like to achieve more at university”, “I need to be getting better grades”, and “I am going to spend more time in the library”, you run the risk of not only working yourself too hard, but also developing an unhealthy complex with one thing. The phrase, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” sums this up perfectly. Should that basket break, you will feel as though you are left with nothing. Instead, choose targets from different areas; take on one health-related resolution, one work-related resolution, and one personal resolution that is specific to you as an individual. In this way, you will be building on the wonderful structure that is already there – yes, you! – and you will have more than one focus. This is not only more productive, but more fulfilling in the long term.
My proposition is this: be sure to enjoy Christmas; eat, drink and be merry, do all of those things, but do not lose sight of the fact that the New Year will never mean a “New You”. You will always be you; from season to season, year to year, for the whole of your life. Instead of spiralling into a drunken, over-fed mess, why not finish the year by reflecting on all of the things that you have achieved over the past 12 months? Consider the person you are in that given moment, surrounded by those you love and those who love you, and be content. Move forward in the knowledge of these things, rather than throwing it all away and attempting to start again completely from scratch. More than anything, this approach is tiring; nobody wants to enter the New Year feeling exhausted. So, feel fulfilled, not stuffed. Feel joyful and inspired, rather than paralytic and tired.
“But it’s Christmas”…? Well I say it’s more: it is, after all, a wonderful life. Merry Christmas!
Image sources:
1 – Rebekah Cooper, 2012
2 – Softchalkcloud.com
3 – Wikipedia.com