Do you secretly rejoice when plans get cancelled? Is there nothing better to you than staying inside and binge-watching your favourite series? Most of all, do you wince at the thought of hanging out with a big group of people?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, you are likely a self-proclaimed introvert.
And if you didn’t answer at all because you despise social interaction, then you are most definitely an introvert. I see you.
For far too long, introversion has been demonised. People who simply enjoy their own company are either scoffed at or pitied by their extroverted counterparts, influenced by negative stigma that suggests you must prioritise socialisation if you want to be good at your job, get ahead in life, or even find happiness.
However, this is completely false. All happy homebodies can breathe a sigh of relief, for a distaste for other people’s company actually has a little negative impact on your wider life. In fact, Yale has even discovered that introverts understand people better than extroverts, and are more likely to outperform them in a crisis.
With National Introverts Week just having passed (21st March-27th) here are five ways to stop feeling shameful about finding joy in solitude.
1. Remove Self-Stigma
To get the best out of your alone time you have to first allow yourself. In a world that seemingly revolves around extroversion, it can be extremely hard to accept that you have little desire to socialise. An introverted person may become inclined to hate themselves for never being a natural leader or a ‘best friend’ to everyone. However, denial or punishing yourself for not being an extrovert will achieve nothing except a drastic decrease in self-esteem.
The stigma must be broken; there is nothing wrong with enjoying alone time. Additionally, as an introvert, you will inevitably need breaks from socialisation. So, spend it being content with yourself instead of unnecessarily wishing you were different. Remember, the loudest person in the room isn’t always the happiest.
2. Stop Neglecting Yourself
Being an introvert does not automatically mean you have ‘no life’ and stay indoors 24/7. In fact, you can and should take it upon yourself to go out and do things you enjoy by yourself. Going to the cinema alone should be a way more popular excursion – a dark room, a great film and endless popcorn is an introvert’s dream. Extra points if you go at a less busy time for the cinema, meaning you’ll be likely to get a screening with barely any other people.
However, if venturing out to the cinema alone seems too daunting, try starting small by sitting in a quiet coffee shop while doing something relaxing and enjoyable, like reading a book.
Treat yourself like a partner or a best friend. If you wouldn’t neglect their needs, you shouldn’t neglect your own. Take yourself out on a date to promote self-love and show yourself how you can have fun without needless socialisation. A bonus is that you get to choose where you eat every time!
3. Find a Creative Outlet
A positive aspect of being an introvert is the fact that you have lots of time to explore possible new hobbies or interests. You should make the most of your alone time by learning more about yourself! Take the time to find out what you enjoy, whether it’s reading, drawing, or writing. In allowing yourself to investigate what you love doing, you may surprise yourself with hidden talents or even a possible career path!
Furthermore, having a creative outlet for your emotions is extremely important for introverts who may despise talking about their feelings with others. If you don’t like ranting to friends about what’s upsetting you, that energy has to be channelled elsewhere. This can be achieved through journaling, a creative hobby that promotes imagination and helps in expressing all of your feelings. Luckily, nobody ever even has to read your journal, meaning you have space to communicate all your innermost troubles as opposed to keeping them withheld to avoid embarrassment.
4. Realise that Social Media is Your Worst Enemy
Social media – such as Instagram, Tik Tok or Twitter – are irritatingly the perfect platform for extroverts to display their apparently ‘flawless’ lives. When trying to enjoy alone time, your biggest foe may come in the form of an exciting “Day in the Life of an 18-Year-Old Influencer!” YouTube video, that makes you believe that you are ‘abnormal’ for not having a wild busy social life. However, such vlogs and posts may not be as truthful as you think.
In a survey of 2000 British people by Custard (a British marketing company), 75% admitted to lying about themselves on social media, with 14% going further to say that Facebook made them seem way more socially active than they actually were.
These statistics prove that it is not only introverts who have supposedly “boring” social lives; generally, most people are insecure about how they spend their time.
Try to limit your time spent on social media because, although it can be a brilliant time-waster, you may start to become a breeding ground for new insecurities. In that case, you must be sure to take a break before it stops you from fully enjoying precious alone time.
5. Give Yourself Some Space
As an introvert myself, I know it can be tempting to ignore duties like tidying up after yourself under the guise of “but nobody will see my room!”. However, never having guests over doesn’t mean you shouldn’t decorate and clean your space as if you were. Having a cosy area to relax in, and furnish with entirely your aesthetic, is perfect for those who enjoy their alone time. If you have a space you are proud of, you are way more likely to enjoy yourself in periods of introversion.
You deserve to have a space that functions as a safe haven to unwind in after long days of socialisation. An introvert’s best friend is mood lighting, so consider purchasing a warm-coloured lamp/ bulb which differs from the fluorescent white lights outside. Alternatively, I would suggest a sunset lamp, a light that has taken Tik Tok by storm for its ability to mimic the calming colours of golden hour.
Though National Introvert’s week may be over, it doesn’t mean we should stop celebrating our love for spending time alone. To all introverts, make sure you devote some quality time to yourself this week. You deserve it!
Words by: Daisy Thorogood
Edited by: Laura Murphy