Being in any type of relationship is like being on a roller coaster — it has its ups and downs. After the honeymoon phase, where butterflies were always in your tummy but you kept quiet about the problems, it is often relieving to finally address those issues. In the end, solving problems shows your progress and the effort that each person has made to be in a healthy relationship.
But what if the relationship has an extra factor, such as long distance?
I, myself, am in a long-distance relationship and let me tell you: It is not easy, but it is worth it.
It is difficult to say how I decided to be in a long-distance relationship. I remember doing research about long distance relationships, asking Google if it should be done or not. But research or not, only you can decide how you feel. To this day, I do not regret long distance, but again, it is not easy.
For long distance to work, you must have a fully trusting and honest relationship, texting often and calling even more. For me, being on my phone has never been an issue, so texting is easy. However, calling while doing things is another problem. Wanting to do homework, readings, or simply hang out with friends is tough to balance when you also want to talk to your significant other.
To me, the balancing act changes every day because every day is different. Different problems are presented, and people are in different moods every day. Communication is the most critical factor in any relationship, but once in a long-distance relationship, it becomes even more critical. Fights become worse in a matter of texts, a few seconds of silence on the phone feels like 10 years and keeping things bottled up explode faster than someone would think.
Being honest and trusting each other is a huge factor present in any relationship, but when you are so far away from someone it is super critical. Being honest about everything you do makes the other person trust you, and vice versa. You need to be able to trust the other person, while still making sure you trust your natural instincts.
What about actually seeing each other? In my case, my boyfriend lives in Ottawa, which is about six hours away from me, but a nine-hour bus or train ride. It is hard. We both have part-time jobs, and we are full-time students, meaning if we are not working, we are studying or in class. Getting a weekend to see each other usually only takes place once a month. Even then, one of us is usually going to work, leaving the other one at home. Added to this, is the cost. Of course, if you are only traveling three hours it might be cheaper, and easier, but for us, it’s about $100+ to see each other, also adding the amount of money we spend once we see each other on food, dates and gifts.
Now, these are all of the hard things of a long-distance relationship, but honestly, I think it makes me happier, and more grateful when I do get to see my boyfriend. Having a hard day? I call him, and it changes things. I also get an outsider perspective on my problems because he isn’t here with me; to be honest, sometimes it is annoying because he does not agree with me, but in the end, it is what I need to hear. Seeing him, and not doing anything, becomes more fun, and usually what we do. Surprises become so much more exciting, and fun to execute. To be honest, even putting it into words is hard.
The relationship itself is too, but if the person is also putting in the effort, also feeling the same way, it is easier and worth it.
I think it is always best to try. You never know — it could be the greatest thing you have ever done!