I think that we can all say that this year did not go the way we were excepting. We are in the middle of a pandemic and stuck at home. For me, this time at home, and most of the time alone, made me think about everything that is going on right now. Not only are we in the middle of a pandemic but, we are also fighting for the value of our lives at the same time. With the Black Lives Matter protests happening everywhere around the world (The United States, France, The UK…) it makes me wonder what my place is as a young black woman in a world that doesn’t seem like it’s made for me.
The Black Lives Matter movement has been around for a while, but it feels like it became something even bigger this year, for unfortunate reasons. Personally, I was first introduced to it in 2014. At that time, I was 14 and lived in Africa, in a country where people with the same skin as mine are the majority. So, if I’m honest I did not feel very concerned by it, I thought it only happened in the United States. Obviously, I have been a victim of racism, when I was younger here in Canada, and when I lived in Tunisia for a few years. But I never thought that it would be as bad as getting killed because of my skin colour, very innocent I know. I was lucky to spend most of my teen years in a country where the worst thing I could be was a woman and not a black woman.
Now it feels different, maybe because I’m older and I’m in a country where I’m considered a minority. I won’t lie, I’m a little bit scared. I’m not exactly sure how to feel, it’s all just very confusing. One day (knock on wood) my name could join the endless list of black lives lost because of police brutality. It’s weird to wake up one day and realize something you already knew deep down: you don’t matter, you’re not seen as a valuable life, the only thing people see when they look at you is your skin colour. It hits even harder because people are against Black Lives Matter, and I don’t understand why. Is it that hard to say that black lives matter and should not be killed for no reason, or that when it does happen, we should get actual justice? Black people have been fighting to be seen as equal for hundreds of years now but are still seen as less just because of their skin.
I am scared not only for me but for all my younger siblings and cousins, even though the whole world is aware of what is happening, it doesn’t look like it’s going to change anytime soon. I hope to be wrong and that one day everyone will be seen as equal, no matter their skin colour, their religion, or their sexuality.