There’s a phenomenon related to dating that we don’t talk about enough. Imagine yourself cuddled up in your partner’s arms, enjoying each other’s company. You’re so overwhelmed by your feelings for them and you know you have to show it in some way. You could hug them, give them a kiss, or maybe tell them you appreciate their company. Instead, you decide the best course of action is to sink your teeth into their arm.
If you’ve never felt this way, you probably think I’m crazy. If you have, you understand the struggle. Don’t worry, we’re not the only ones. All over the internet people are wondering what is causing them to turn into chomping monsters. Luckily enough, so many people have had this experience that scientists have studied the phenomena and given us answers.
It turns out that the urge stems from something called “cuteness aggression”. It can be the urge to bite your partner, the feeling that you just squeeze a puppy as hard as possible, or pinch the cheeks of a baby. Your brain becomes so overwhelmed with emotion that it overpowers the emotion and reward functions of the brain. Our brains get so overwhelmed with the positive emotion that it actually signals that we are out of control. In simple terms, we need to get control over our positive emotions by producing negative ones. Researchers also say this phenomenon is much more common than people think.
This experience is so universal that many languages have their own words for the phenomenon. “Gigli” in Filipino expresses the urge one feels to pinch or squeeze something unbearably cute. “Gemas” in Indonesian more directly references cuteness aggression and means the feeling of frustration associated with seeing something super cute.
This is all to say, you’re perfectly normal for feeling the need to bite into your loved ones. People all over the globe experience the urge, and many scientists have devoted whole studies to tracking down the cause. However, you should always ask your partner if it’s something they are okay with, and try not to break the skin!