At least once in our lives, we’ve dealt with a sh*tty friend or two, whether they’re sh*tty because they talk behind our backs, treat us like dirt, or are even willing to put us down to make themselves feel better. We’ve all been there, and maybe we don’t know exactly how to deal with them without causing too much damage to ourselves. Luckily, I am here today to share how I deal with a sh*tty friend and how I’ve used these tips to have a better friendship or maybe a better life without them.
- Distancing
If someone is being sh*tty to you and it’s causing me a lot of harm, I try distancing myself from them. To distance myself, I may physically not be around them as much as I would be, or I might not talk to them as much whether it’s in person or online. Being able to distance myself not only helps me balance my mindset and helps me gain some alone time to figure out what I should do with this friend, but it could also show the friend how their behavior is affecting not only me but their friendship with me.
- Confrontation
Though confrontation is a scary thing for a lot of people, especially when you’re confronting someone you have a serious connection with, sometimes it’s really best when I confront them about their behavior and/or actions. To confront them, I try and talk to them in a way to let them know that I don’t want to end my friendship with them, but that I can’t continue a friendship with them if they continue that type of behavior. I try pointing out all of the things they did to me that weren’t okay to do and why they’re not okay to do. I also try to be a bit stern too to let them know that I’m being serious. If I’m being too nice, they might not take the confrontation as seriously.
- Set boundaries
Setting boundaries can be very hard to do, especially when you’re not the best at being able to stand on business. But setting boundaries is not only for them, it’s for me, too, and if they don’t respect my boundaries, then I don’t stay friends with them. To set boundaries, I’ll be strong and let them know that my boundaries are there and that they’re there for a reason. I don’t let the friend tear me down and disrespect me. I let them know that my boundaries exist and stop them as soon as they try to step over that boundary.
- End the friendship
At the end of the day, the best thing to do is to end the friendship. As much as I can try, if they’re not willing to understand that their behavior towards me isn’t okay, I don’t let that affect me or my life. Instead, I just end the friendship. It can be hard leaving a toxic friendship, but I remember that I’m doing myself a favor, not only for my present self but for my future self. And it’s normal to feel like I could’ve done more or could’ve given them another chance, but with friends like them, they don’t deserve it. I did my best and that’s all that matters; I was able to try to help them while giving yourself better boundaries towards them, but it doesn’t always work out at the end. Now, I’m able to be free from the shackles of toxicity and find new, healthy friends.