This article is a little different for me, as it’s more personal. The topic of the family has always been a struggle; my parents are divorced, my father lives multiple states away, and my siblings are all much older than me. Growing up was strange because I felt very alienated from the other kids and their families. It wasn’t their fault, it was simply the thoughts of a child. However, as I grew older and my family continued to split apart, I became aware of something: familial blood isn’t that important to me. This may not be the case for other people, but I’ve found that a few of my closest bonds are with people outside of my family. And, my family doesn’t read these articles so I can be as honest as I want.
I have two brothers and one sister, all are half-siblings, and all are half-Filipino. My oldest brother and sister are my mom’s children, my other brother is my dad’s kid. As my mother and father’s child, I am not Filipino (at all). Because of this, growing up I felt really conflicted with my relationship with my siblings. All of the children around me looked exactly like their siblings, however, I looked nothing like them. It was very confusing for me because I felt like they all had this bond I would never experience. I was also 7+ years younger than then, which didn’t make it any easier.
Due to the gap between my siblings and me, I began to look to others for that kind of bond. In the process, I found my best friend; we’ve now been best friends for 10 years. She has been with me through every difficult moment in my life, and I trust her with everything. As much as it feels wrong to write this, I treasure her more as a sister, rather than my own blood sister. My actual sister is 15 years older than me and never really attempted to develop a sisterly bond with me. Even as I grew older, reaching out to her was always a struggle. But my best friend- she has always been right there by my side.
I’m not going to add too much more to this, because being that vulnerable in an article is difficult, but I want to say this: it’s okay to feel more at home with people who aren’t blood. Blood doesn’t mean trust; it doesn’t mean love; it doesn’t mean protection. Blood is a biological connection between people. Trusting someone and loving them, that’s what means family to me.