As a college student, and someone who lived through middle school, the idea of sexuality is not something new to me. Almost everyone has this conversation with themself about how to identify. As someone who has been on this journey since 7th grade, I am still learning about myself and my preferences. With this being said, there are a few things I’ve learned and found helpful throughout the years.
To begin, I think it’s important to acknowledge that sexuality is a spectrum, and labels are not always necessary. Sometimes it feels comforting to associate with one, in order to make us feel like our minds are made up, but this is entirely up to you. Whether or not you put a label on your sexuality does not influence the validity of your preferences. It is also normal to change your mind throughout the years as you continue to learn about yourself, others, and experience different types of people.
Secondly, when choosing a partner, having this discussion is something you may want to keep in mind. Especially when trying something new, being transparent with each other can lead to avoiding getting hurt later. Sometimes people will say they are “experimenting” which is totally fine, but it’s important to consider where your partner is on their journey also. Conversation about what you’re comfortable with should come up within the first few weeks of the relationship, and if you can’t have a conversation about it, then it probably means you’re not ready. You should also never feel pressured by someone, or society.
Lastly, coming out is a subject of its own, but the biggest part to remember is to come out when you’re ready to. Talk with people you trust, and if you don’t feel safe with anyone you know personally, or don’t want to come out yet, but have questions, the community is so inviting! There are hotlines and services you can find online along with other platforms to get answers to anything you may need to know.