When the situation arises, I will certainly not shy away from holding my hands up and apologising. But, there are some things in life that girls should never feel guilty for. Here is a handful of justifications to life’s little habits…
1. We will not be ordering chips, but we will definitely be stealing some of yours. For ladies, tactical menu browsing comes with the territory. The number of times I’ve sat opposite my other half in a restaurant, and refused to even acknowledge the fish and chip option he’s so desperately lusting after before helping myself to a his plate when his food arrives is hilarious! I’ve noticed too, that the severity of this naughtiness varies somewhat between girls; from a simple chip grab when he’s nearly finished to blatantly suggesting your boyfriend orders the calzone while you get the cannelloni pasta with an angelic declaration of ‘we can share them’. BAM! No tricky menu decisions for you! The story doesn’t just stop at restaurants though, oh no. Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie and hot, buttery toast are both personal favourites of mine. After all, sharing is caring, right?
2. Our 10 minutes is slightly longer than your 10 minutes. Sometimes, even with the greatest will in the world, arriving slightly behind schedule is simply inevitable. Regardless, I set an early alarm, yet it’s a sure fire guarantee I’ll be applying mascara, whilst wriggling into my skinny jeans and looking for my keys in a multi-tasking, one-woman-band kind of fashion before rushing out the door with tooth paste round my mouth. Oh, and remember, ladies always forget something. Always. Usually something of upmost importance too. Phones, bank card, bra…that kind of thing.
3. We absolutely point-blank refuse to apologise for that smug feeling we get when you open our jars. I’ve tirelessly wrestled a few jam jars in my time as a poor, helpless student fending for myself in the big wide world of jar opening. But wait, in the corner of your eye there he is… Defeated, you hand over the jar and suddenly, POP! Lid off, knife in, and toast sufficiently jammed. All without batting an eyelid. Boyfriends, Dads and brothers – rejoice! You are our jammy saviours!
4. Talking to a dog like it’s a newborn baby. Ladies or gentlemen, we’re all guilty as charged – admit it! In fact, do more than merely admit it. Embrace it. Take a long, deep breath and inhale the fluffy, puppy love and accept that it is absolutely, 100%, A-Okay to talk to a dog as though it is a young, infant off-spring of yours…. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that if you aren’t talking to your dog in this manner, then we have a serious issue on our hands, my friend. Address it immediately.
5. Yes. 5 pairs of shoes for an overnight stay is absolutely necessary. I don’t even feel a burning desire to explain myself on this one. Not only will I not be apologising, but I’ll sure be doing it again.
6. It’s totally OK to stay in your pyjamas all day. I am an absolute sucker for fresh, clean jammies. Better still, when they are fresh from the tumble dryer. Just dreaming about it now is making my toes wriggle. My silky pair, printed with lilac and turquoise feathers are the kings of my PJ draw; from the moment I slip into them I am immediately drenched head to toe in silky happiness. Now, not every day could possibly qualify for a pyjama day – that would be absurd. But on the very rare occasion I’ve foreseen a duvet day, I’ll set aside firm plans to remain in pyjama-attire for the duration. It has been known however, that regardless of original intentions to get dressed on a specific dreary Tuesday, that there comes a point when you reach The Pyjama Point of no Return – the realization that it’s too close to bedtime to rectify your humble mistake. Therefore, your only option is to remain nightie-intact and continue plodding along the comfy path to bedtime.
7. When we’re with our best friends, things get a little weird. When girls get together, it can more often than not resemble a wild jungle scene; flocks of ladies howling hysterically at something no one outside the jungle kingdom could possibly even attempt to understand. My favourite jungle antics include finishing each others sentences, floor rolling induced by severe hysteria and general acts of eccentricity, considered only acceptable within the jungle community.
Well, there you have it. 7 priceless little gems that inject some well needed colour into daily life as a ‘twenty-something’ female. Naughty or not, I am genuinely sorry…for not feeling an ounce of remorse!