Everyone needs to poop sometimes; it’s an unavoidable truth! As women, we are often shamed or shame ourselves when we need to take a dump. Why, though? It doesn’t need to be this way. In the interest of freeing ourselves from the patriarchal assumption that “women don’t shit,” I’ve compiled a list of bathrooms that are the best for when you need that special alone time.
1. Skillman Basement – Located on the left wall, a single stalled large bathroom for those of us that need a break from studying or to release the coffee runs you get from Skillman Library Cafe. My favorite part of this bathroom is that both the door and stall lock, double poop protection! Possible faults: it’s one of the only bathrooms in a building where people can spend hours, so it can get busy depending on the day.
2. Basement of Kirby – This small bathroom is cute and out of the way enough to escape the usual Kirby crowd. (Bonus if you can get there during class times when it’s as quiet as can be.) There’s also a small sitting room between the hallway and the actual bathroom for any pooping friends you may have. When you walk in, it’s like entering the cute part of the 70’s, cute colored tile and all. The downside is that it is two stalls so there’s always a chance for someone else to walk in.
3. Acopian – Literally any bathroom in there if you can find one! Important to note: they have single toilet gender-inclusive bathrooms on many of the floors. They’re perfect for dropping a deuce in peace. If you’re looking for something more quaint (I don’t judge), there’s a cramped but charming bathroom on the 2nd floor of Acopian. When you head down the stairs, turn right and follow the hallway all the way down. When you get to the common room, check-in the little tunnel on the left for the perfect pooping spot. Downside: it’s also two stalled and a little cramped.
4. South Basement – A Freshman favorite, the South Basement has everything you could possibly need, including a nice, fancy bathroom. As a former South resident, I can say that the two gender-inclusive bathrooms down there are a must for your pooping passport. Downside: depending on the time it can be really popular, so you might get handle-jiggled.
5. McCartney South Lobby – I haven’t tried this one yet, but anything beats the Wawa bathroom! If you’re in a pinch and passing by, there’s a single toilet bathroom to the left of the McCartney South Lobby. A possible rare gem?
Honorable mentions include Rockwell single toilet bathrooms, Keefe bathrooms, any bathroom in an underpopulated academic building (old Oechsle, Van Wickle, etc.).
I hope this guide helps you find your shit safe spot. Happy pooping everyone!