Part of quarantine is being alone with yourself. Yes, many of us are waiting out our at-home orders with family or friends whom we’re staying with. Still, I’m personally also spending a lot of time with myself.
It’s not easy to just “be.” There are a lot of moments where I’m finished with my online classes and immediately turn to social media instead of being productive. This morning, on the rare occasion that one of my classes was canceled, I had time to spare. Instead of going back to bed or scrolling through Pinterest, I made an effort to use this ‘bonus time’ in a productive way.
I found myself wondering in the back of my mind—while making breakfast, neatening my room, and watching a brief class lecture—how much spare time I lose. How many minutes slip away when I endeavor to fill my brain so I don’t really have to think? We all have impulses to turn to what my mom calls brain candy: things that are sweet and easy to think about but don’t really have a benefit in the long run. For me, and probably a lot of people, brain candy is Netflix, Instagram, and those random stories on the Snapchat Discovery page. I’m not saying social media is the root of all evil here; instead, I mean that we are all our own worst enemies when it comes to lost time.
If I focus the time I spend on brain candy pursuing something positive (like creating a clean space or doing an activity I love), I could become a happier person. The things that bring me joy, like reading, writing, and FaceTiming people whom I love, can take a little more energy than scrolling through my phone. However, these activities also make me feel more like myself in today’s very lonely world.
During quarantine, I’m not trying to write a novel or learn a new language. I just hope to learn how to be okay with spending time with myself without constant time-fillers. If we learn one thing about ourselves, however big or small that one thing seems, this time has not been wasted.
It’s okay not to do much during quarantine, but I think it’s worth it to try and fill your time with activities that bring you peace and joy, rather than just simply fill your time.