Unhealthy relationships are something everyone has encountered in one form or another. Here’s my story of an unhealthy relationship and how I overcame it.
In the fall of my freshman year I met Matthew* and he was everything I was hoping for. Unfortunately the things I was hoping for were not the qualities I needed, which latercame back to haunt me. Long story short, he decided to play me and use me whenever it suited him. He would spend time with me as he felt necessary and then when he got bored, he would come back to me. I was so enamored with him that I took him back each time.
This cycle continued for an entire year and it took a large toll on my life. My grades dropped and so did my self confidence. I gained a fair amount of weight and hated myself for not having the power to stop this cycle.
I dated other guys and tried to have an effective “rebound” many times throughout the year but I couldn’t hide the feelings I had for Matthew. I thought that by finding chemistry with someone new would help me move on and get my life back on track. Every time he came back to me, my happiness would jump and I would finally feel like my old confident self again. Matthew knew that he was in the wrong and would try to show his regret by crying and apologizing everytime. He told me everything he knew I wanted to hear, how much he missed me, how I was always on his mind, how beautiful I was, and a billion other lies to manipulate my feelings. When I gave in – he would use me and get what he wanted and when things got boring, he would disappear again.
I was playing with fire and I kept getting burnt.
He would fight to keep this power over me and it was a constant struggle to gain little parts of my life back without his influence tainting them. It’s been a long and painful experience but I don’t regret it, it’s made me stronger and wiser. I now understand how to watch out for myself and avoid getting burnt when playing the game.
The graph shows the difference between a violent relationship versus a nonviolent relationship.
*Name has been changed.