Day-After Halloween Survival Guide

Once again, you’ve successfully made it through Halloween.

Not only did you brave the children running around demanding candy from strangers, but you survived the many “slutty Freddy Krugers,” “slutty nurses,” and “slutty sluts.” With all the girls dressed as Chad, Brad, and Thad, I’m offended no one dressed as a typical sorority girl! I mean, who are all these frat boys going to whisper their “You’re the only girl I am talking to” pick-up lines to? Just an idea… Like I’ve said, you have made a success of your night. But now what?


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If you partied hard (like I always do), you’re going to need to read this:



It’s the morning after, and you probably look like crap. This ethanol-fueled self-destruction has really f*cked your appearance AND your liver, so it’s time to prepare yourself to party again. At this time, it's best that you grab yourself a Pedialyte or Gatorade to fuel-up on electrolytes and earn back your body's respect for itself!


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2. Check your phone

I want you back” is one of those regrettable texts that people send when they really get in their feels while drinking. Even if you think you’re too good for that, please check your phone. It can be as small as a “hey” text message, or 15-minute voicemail to the man who broke your heart, just check!


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3. Candy Galore

If you did take part in trick-or-treating, then you already know that you have to check your candy for razor blades and drugs. But most importantly check to see what candy is worth keeping and toss all those lame filler bubblegum. WE WANT CANDY, NOT GUM! You know your worth, therefore you should know why you deserve to eat that full-size Snickers bar that Mr. and Mrs. Roberts gave you from that rich part of the neighborhood.


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4. Remove Friends

There’s a good chance you made friends wherever you went and probably added them on Snapchat. Let’s be real, you’re never going to see them again, and it’s more than likely you don’t remember meeting them. Do yourself the favor and clean out your Snapchat by removing them before you start having to ask yourself “who the f*ck is this?” when you see their story.


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These are just a few ways you can get your life back together after spending Halloween mostly inebriated, but there are other ways too. In all honesty, I'm probably going to forget my own survival guide, and just lay in bed with a hangover the following day. Before I leave you, I thought I would share some of my favorite Halloween costumes. Hopefully, you get some ideas for your own costumes next Halloween!

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