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Have you ever noticed yourself constantly feeling depressed, frustrated, or insecure every time you are around a particular person? You may be in a toxic relationship. There are many manifestations of toxicity, however I will be focusing on the emotional and verbal aspect. This form of toxicity is many times the hardest to recognize because many people ignore their perception of how the other person makes them feel. Over time being with that person becomes a routine and the thought of not having that can be unsettling and uncomfortable.


It goes without saying that no relationship is perfect, and disagreements in moderation are completely normal. However, if you can remember more bad times with that person than good times, and you are in a constant state of arguing, it is not a healthy relationship. This could apply to a relationship between you and a family member, friend, or a significant other. According to Women’s Health Magazine, some common signs that the other person is toxic are: you are putting more effort into the relationship, they don’t take responsibility for their actions, they make excuses, they constantly criticize you, they are controlling, you feel like you are losing yourself, and finally they aren’t willing to listen to your feelings.


Think about all of the most essential things that you want for yourself in a relationship such as support, encouragement, trust, honesty, and consistency. All of these things you deserve. This may seem obvious, but many people stay in a relationship where they are receiving none of these things. It was difficult for me too, in realizing this was my situation. It can be scary to imagine a life without the other person in it. Putting yourself first and realizing that it is best to separate yourself from the other person and get out of the relationship is not an easy decision.


If you are going through a situation like this in your life, know that you aren’t alone and that there are places you can go for help. La Salle has a Substance Abuse and Violence Education Center (https://www.lasalle.edu/student-life/substance-abuse-and-violence-education-center/) that offers individual or group support and counseling. You can also contact the Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-866-723-3014. This is a free and anonymous 24-hour service. Visit the Women Against Abuse website for more information and resources. (www.womenagainstabuse.org).

Deja McCleary

La Salle '20

Deja is a junior Nursing major originally from Maryland. She is involved in several different activities on campus. She enjoys writing and journaling as a creative outlet.
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