The phrase, “We’re together, but we aren’t dating” has been said numerous times by guys and girls everywhere.
I’ve witnessed countless “relationships” develop between my friends and their significant others; yet they say they aren’t dating. They invest all their time and energy into a relationship, but for some reason it’s not okay to label them as a couple. It’s as if saying, “He/she is my boyfriend/girlfriend” is disgusting.
When did it become acceptable to belittle our worth? When did dating someone become something to be ashamed of?
It’s honestly upsetting to see what this society has come to. We allow ourselves to become completely devoted to this other individual, but we cannot openly date them. Knowing that my future children will enter a world where dating is outdated is upsetting.
Despite all of that though, I am guilty of this too. Trust me, I have participated in the “we’re just talking” stage. But when does that stage end? When does “talking” develop into “dating”? A few weeks, a month, a year? I see it everyday. Friends of mine “talking” to someone, for years even, but they are never “dating.” So I ask again, when did this behavior become a trend, and when did our generation decide this was our version of a relationship?
Well, if there is this climatic change between the two stages of commitment then what are the requirements to move onto the dating stage? Generally speaking, these “talking” relationships normally consist of hanging out, going out on dates, buying each other things, being exclusive and committed to one another, meeting friends and family, and even sleeping together. Over time, you may even begin to fall in love with one another, BUT still say that you aren’t dating!
So, let me get this straight, you’re having sex with this person but you are not dating them. Now, I understand that each person in this world has their own opinion of sex and it’s value, but in this generation, it’s uncommon for people to wait for marriage. I personally do not frown upon having sex before marriage, and shockingly enough, some relationships that exist are simply centered around sex. Have you ever heard of the phrase “no strings attached”? However, when you’re “talking to someone,” sex is different than your casual bone-sesh on the weekends with that frat guy you still need to pay to get into his house for a cup of cheap warm beer.
What about cheating? If two people are not “officially together,” does cheating even exist? Miscommunication can really ruin these types of “relationships” because if one person sees the “relationship” as exclusive while the other person doesn’t, things can get ugly quickly.
So back to the original question: how do you know when to call your relationship an official relationship? It seems that this generation has really put themselves in quite a predicament. However, while the entire concept of “talking” and “dating” is as frustrating as your tangled headphones, it’s something that needs to be addressed. Every single relationship is different, but that doesn’t change the fact that this generation’s love life is screwed up. We are trapped in this state of mind that it’s okay to belittle your worth and put your full effort into a relationship that might not even be real. You are giving away your mind and body to someone who might not even care about it the way you care about and cherish theirs. You need to realize that you are important and deserve to be with a person who is proud to be with you. Actually, scratch that. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to be dating you.