Dear David Dobrik,
Hi. I’m not good at getting to know people. Like popular people. I don’t think I’m explaining this correctly. I’m not good at knowing famous people, knowing their name or what they actually do. Most of the time I just ask my sister, “Who’s this guy that was in this movie and also the one in this show?” She’ll tell me who the guy is and what movie or show I was trying to think of. I’m better at faces than names. Any who, I just found out who you were at the end of 2018. Now it’s just barely into 2019, and I feel compelled to write something to you that you may never read. Possibly no one is reading, but this is just something I want to do. Well first, I was looking up Liza Koshy because I love her lip-syncing videos, and of course, that lead to my discovery of you. I asked my sister if she knew who you were. She didn’t exactly say this, but to paraphrase, the answer was “duh.” From my discovery it seems that you are dorky and funny and the best part about you is that you are weird. In all honesty, those traits I just named may not be true because I don’t really know you.
I googled you and found out that you were born July 23, 1996. Hopefully that’s not too creepy. You are only 13 months older than me, and you are more successful. You give cars out to people, and I take out student loans. You’re able to buy a house, and I’m able to waste money on a textbook my professors say I need. I’m just in awe at how successful you are at such a young age, but that’s not even my favorite thing that I learned from googling you. You’re 5’ 10” not a bad height. Although, my sister is taller then you, so ha. I don’t know why that’s a ‘ha’ moment, but it is. My favorite thing I learned about you is the fact that you are Slovak. I’ve always wanted to go to Slovakia. My grandfather Joe’s family came from Slovakia and my grandmother, Jukie, made nutrolls and pierogies. Every Christmas and Easter I get to help my mom make nutroll. It’s a tradition that I hope to one day pass down. Every Christmas Eve, part of my mom’s family gets together, and we eat way too much seafood and perogies, we laugh about Oplatki (in case you don’t know it’s stale Styrofoam that you are supposed to eat during the holiday) and then we eat nutroll. It’s my favorite day of the year. It’s like Christmas, but better. Plus, this year, my cousin had a baby. I’m the youngest in my family, out of my cousins too. I never had a baby to hold during the holidays, and now I do and he’s the cutest. I might be a little biased.
Okay, I am getting off topic again. I was talking about how I love that you are Slovak because I am Slovak. I have many, many questions for you. How do you eat your pierogies? Please, if you ever do answer this don’t answer “with a fork.” I understand sarcasm, it’s in my blood. What I mean is do you like butter and onions covered over them? What is normally inside your pierogies? Now I am spoiled with having the best pierogies made by my mom. So, I find Mrs. T’s appalling because of how fake they taste compared to homemade pierogies. Do you care if they are homemade or not? Also, what nutroll recipe is used in your family? Is it a crime in your house to eat a nutroll like a hoagie because it is in mine. I think if I were to ever do that, I would go to jail for murdering a nutroll. I don’t know how long I would be locked up. However, they would lock me up because my mom told them to do so. I wouldn’t get out of jail until she said it was okay.
Enough about you being Slovak, even though it’s amazing that you are. The one question I would really want to ask you is, how are you? I feel like that question is not asked enough sincerely. You are always smiling in your videos. Therefore, I would like to assume that you are good and happy, but everyone knows what assuming stands for. I hope you enjoyed my quirky, awkward and maybe even a little weird letter, and I hope you are truly happy. If you aren’t truly happy, do something about it.
Thanks for reading or not reading this.
Sincerely,
Jeri Fries