While I have never been a fan of the phrase “boys will be boys,” I have found myself growing increasingly more angry with this caveat within the past two weeks. This is most likely due to the fact that one of my professors says it on average in every other class period in a completely “it is what it is” kind of fashion.
This phrase is most often used preceding an example of when a guy is demonstrating something sexist, objectifying, or violent. I find this absolutely offensive on a number of different levels; not only to men, but to women as well. When someone uses this rhetoric, it is attributing sexism, violence, and objectification to the mere fact that the individual is a male. As if because you are a male, all of these demeaning qualities are in your genes. No matter how hard you try you cannot not escape these biological factors of your existence so we all must accept collectively as a society that “it is what it is.”
Holding all males to these values is detrimental for all parties involved. It creates a norm that men feel that they must live up to and be a part of. In cases when they do not fit this role, they are often told they are less of a man because of it. Thus, pushing men into being something they are not simply because society has accepted this role for them. I also think that referring to the actions of a grown individual as “boys will be boys” when they are in fact not a boy but a man, is demeaning on another whole level itself.
This stigma also creates the adverse for women. Biologically we must be peaceful and passive. When we see a woman being anything else but this we attribute their traits to masculinity, taking the ownership completely away from them. The same remains true here. This society is collectively forcing a group of people to live up to traits that sometimes they just do not possess.
What should you do with all this newfound information? Please, please, please interrupt people when you hear them saying this. Usually a simple ‘What do you mean by that?” is all it takes for the person to think twice.