WELL, it has been an extremely confusing and trying time over these last few weeks and months. Everyone has been impacted in some way or another because of the pandemic. Because of everything that has been happening, I personally have had a harder time adjusting to everything and picking up a new routine, because quite honestly, my external appearance has been the last of my concerns. I’d like to say that I am finally getting into the groove of things (for the most part), but even when things start to slowly return to normal, this time at home has taught me some things that I know must stop.
Apologizing for how I look
We all had those mornings where we would rush to leave the house. Quite honestly, looking attractive and “put together” may be generally desirable for everyone, but it often feels MANDATORY for women. More often than not, I hear my fellow ladies apologizing whenever they do not complete their full beauty routine, and it’s not viewed as an odd thing. I think it goes to show how internalized it has become for women to be striving to look their best at all times.
I have stopped enjoying things that started off as enjoyable, such as putting on makeup, because it stopped being about improving my confidence and instead thinking I need these things in order to be confident and radiant. Quite honestly, a positive I personally have experienced through switching to online classes is that my appearance has not stopped me from participating in discussions. I don’t know if it is just me, but whenever I don’t feel confident in how I look, I just generally interact with people less. I still have this problem now sometimes, like whenever a friend wants to FaceTime. I feel so quick to keep this cycle going by starting the call with, “BTW I didn’t brush my hair this morning!!”. We do not have the obligation to look beautiful for other people, or reassure them about YOUR appearance.
Tracking my appearance
I’ve noticed that tracking my appearance (such as checking measurements) has been nothing but plain DETRIMENTAL to my mental health. This is probably something super obvious to people, but I was so wrapped up in this cycle with obsessing with every little detail about how I looked. By doing so, I was trapping myself in a constant state of self-objectification by assigning myself a value based on my appearance. Especially now more than ever with all this time home, I just seem to have more time to be standing by the mirror. Most of the time this happens by habit, but subconsciously I would be magnifying every TINY “flaw”!! At the same time though, time at home has taken away a lot of the societal pressure I have felt to keep up with my appearance. I think it is important to emphasize that your lovability and worth is NOT tied to your appearance.
Treating every step of my beauty routine as 100% mandatory
Now before I start, I would like to say this is only for things that go beyond keeping yourself clean and comfortable, like hair removal, makeup, skin care, hair care etc (sooo showering is still not optional, folks). This time at home has really halted a lot of aspects of our lives, even the “little” ones, like our beauty routines. I am here to tell you that it is completely OKAY if you treat parts of your beauty routine as optional (now more than ever). I have viewed this time as a nice little break from keeping up with how I look, especially haircare. I straightened my hair SO often, I just stopped feeling confident in my natural hair. Side note, now’s the time to do that hair thing you’ve always wanted but were too scared to do (but if you are going to change it up, please have somebody help you, or at least watch a video)!! I mean if nobody is going to see you for a month, what else is holding you back????
Anyway, these “self care” things I did started out as fun, and they made me feel like a better version of myself. Little did I know that I would get so sucked into how I looked that I ONLY felt confident in my appearance when I was wearing makeup or there was not a single ounce of frizz in my hair. It stopped becoming an optional fun way to feel good about myself and more like something that was mandatory in order to be a presentable and beautiful human, and this is JUST NOT TRUE!
I know that being ripped away from your regular routine can be challenging, but I have been trying to use this time to spice things up! Change is scary and you cannot just ignore what is happening in the world right now, but now would be a good time to work on being good to yourself FOR yourself. When things slowly die down and people start to go back to their “normal” daily lives again, I hope I can take what I’ve learned and continue applying it, and I hope this has inspired you to do so as well!