For almost any girl it’s something that will never happen, but according to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, for one in four girls, it becomes a sad reality. Domestic violence happens more than people think, and it’s a difficult experience for any girl. October is not only about breast cancer awareness; it is also about national domestic violence awareness. Both are important matters to women of all ages, and neither should be overlooked.
According to Break the Cycle, over one in five college women report actual physical abuse, where as 43% of college women report experiencing some abusive dating behavior. 43%. It used to be said that it only happens to older married couples, but it’s becoming more common in younger women, and more girls are staying in unhealthy relationships. But why?
There are many myths or misunderstandings surrounding domestic violence. I’m here to clear a few of those up.
Myth #1: Victims will always leave.
Every girl has at one point said to herself, “If a boy ever hits me, I will leave and never come back.” And in some cases, the girl will leave and never look back, but unfortunately a lot of girls stay. They stay for multiple reasons. Some are scared; if he hits me now just for an argument, what will he do if I try to leave? Will he stalk me, hurt me more or even kill me? And sometimes they do. Some girls believe that it was a mistake that it was a one-time thing that will never happen again. But it will, and it usually does. She believes that he truly loves her and that he didn’t mean to. But he did. And the worse thing is some girls blame themselves. They believe that they did something to deserve it, that it’s their fault, and that is never okay.
Myth #2: You can tell when someone is in an abusive relationship.
No, it can be very hard to figure out if someone is in an abusive relationship or not. Most times victims hide or lie to cover up the abuse. Bruises are from falling or an “accident.” They believe that if they pretend everything is good, maybe, just maybe, things will turn good. Victims believe that they can change their abuser, that they can stop the abuse, and that no one else can really help them.
You can usually see an attitude change in a victim. Usually, they get depressed or are on edge. They don’t seem up for everything they used to. Sometimes girls isolate themselves; they pull away from their friends to help hide what’s really going on.
Myth #3: It’s easy to prevent from happening.
An abusive relationship is every father’s fear and every girl’s nightmare. We can’t prevent every situation from happening but we can make sure every girl has the tools and knowledge to avoid an abusive relationship and if worse case scenario, get out of a bad relationship. The best thing we can do is educate girls and give them tools and resources to make sure they always know they have someone to talk to and a way out of a bad situation.
Myth #4: It’s always physical abuse.
Every relationship is different. Some are physical abuse and others are mental and emotional abuse. Some believe the mental and emotional abuse is worse than the physical abuse, because it will stay with a victim for the rest of their lives.
They start to fear people; they believe every person is going to hurt them. They can no longer trust people, especially men. Every good thing they believe in is tarnished by the mental scars left by the abuser. It’s hard for some girls to be in a relationship after an abusive one, they still believe they might be in the same circumstance before. They fear history repeating itself.
For most people, you’ll never have to deal with an abusive relationship, but being ignorant about it will only hurt you if the situation ever arises. Domestic violence is a real problem in the United States, and it hits every race, every class, every age and even each gender. It can happen to anyone at anytime.
For those of you who are going through a difficult time like this, know this: Know that you are not alone. Know that you have resources and people who care about you and want to help you. Know that things can and will get better.
If you or a friend is expierencing domestic violence, call the hotline now, and get the help you need. 1-800-799-7233