**DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY THE WEATHER IS THE WEATHER AND NO ONE CAN CONTROL IT. HAVE HUMOR AND ROLL WITH IT.**
Thank you. Now you may proceed.
Alright, I’m bout to jump into this rant about this h*cking cold weather.
*INHALE*
To begin, I get it, winter, you’re a season. Everyone understands that there will be cold days, but my question is (and just hear me out here), why? does? the? cold? gotta? be? so? dang? extra?
Like really. I love how one day out of the month, temps raise to like 50 degrees (which is quite the swing from the -12 from earlier in the week but it’s fine) but I can’t even enjoy it because it’s rainy, wet, and humid due to the melted snow. I went on a run on that 50-degree day and my socks… soaked, due to the puddles of SNOW melting. Even in spring-ish weather, winter has just GOTTA make itself apparent.
Winter reminds me of the thing you forget to do before you’re able to have a good time— kinda like homework but different. Example: you wanna go out in a cute outfit, oh wait, no its 5 degrees, you’re not wearing that cute dress/skirt/showing off your legs tonight. Or another example, you’re in a time crunch and really have to be somewhere, but don’t think you’re making up any time on the drive there. Why? Because 1) you gotta run your car for at least 7 minutes before it’ll move and 2) ice/snow/freezing rain/some other form of Satan’s precipitation covers either your windows or the roads which means more accidents, and having a life I guess is probably more important than getting somewhere on time. Again, winter is that b**** trying to screw up your plans.
I’d also like to dedicate seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to, yep, you guessed it, yours truly, WINTER. It is literally because of you, winter, that over 3 million people in the US are actually diagnosed with depression during these cold frigid months that feel like centuries. How am I supposed to live life like YOLO when it’s too darn cold to feel my nose or my toes?
Here’s the real issue with winter, though. It has ONE JOB: snow on Christmas. But guess what? I think the last time I actually felt like I was living in a winter wonderland on Christmas was probably like 2005 or something, so even if one of the greatest holidays is winter’s only perk, winter does NOTHING to hype it up and give it the snow it deserves.
Winter is also the kind of person who leads you on for your whole life. It’ll start bringing on its cold temps early in the season, making you feel like it will be over with and spring will bloom early this year, but come late March and early April and we’re still out here getting snow days. I’m not gonna lie, I’m angry. I want to trust you, winter, but you let me down every year, over and over again.
Lastly, there are students out here who have to physically move their legs and WALK to class. It is- and I cannot stress this enough- NOT fun to walk in low temps with negative windchill blowing at me and slowly freezing my skin cells off, but here’s the thing. I HAVE TO, and winter has no respect for that. Unless you’re actually gonna get my classes cancelled, stay away.
That’s all for now. Thanks!
*EXHALE*