Repeating day after day, thinking continuously about what, when and how you’re eating. Feeling like your personality is lesser than; you’re too annoying, too dumb, too quiet, too much then not enough. Some days, and this is the best way I can describe it, you feel uncomfortable in your own skin.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re trapped in yourself, like you are stuck with who you are at this exact moment in time and nothing you can do will change how you are; you just want to crawl out of your body and be someone else because not even you can stand to be around you?
Well, if you do, you’re not alone. I think this is a concept that few women are willing to be forthcoming about, which is understandable; it’s uncomfortable to be uncomfortable with yourself.
When people hear the phrase “comfortable in your own skin,” they normally think of body positivity and loving the way you look. But, really, being comfortable in your own skin is about loving who you are as a person. And, for a lot of women, loving who you are proves to be harder than it sounds. I’m talking about not being able to sit without something covering your stomach area because you are disgusted by your rolls. I’m talking about wanting to shrink away in a group of people because absolutely no one seems to think you are interesting enough to talk or listen to. Loving yourself is fricking hard.
To make things more difficult, the most prized modern virtue is confidence. “Guys only like confident girls.” “It’s unattractive to be so self-conscious.” You literally cannot exhibit that you have low self-esteem without being criticized for it, which of course, only makes confidence levels decrease more.
As a result, no one talks about the moments in time when your self-esteem is at an all-time low. Confidence is idolized but never explained. The term “fake it till you make it” really comes into play here. But there are going to be moments where you are uncomfortable in your own skin, and that doesn’t mean you aren’t a confident person. It just means that, like a normal human, you have insecurities.
Keep in mind that no one likes themselves all the time, no matter how confident they appear to be (even Lizzo). Everyone feels out of place at some point.
The best advice I have is to take it moments at a time. Push past those moments where you want to crawl into a hole; force yourself to be productive, and take time to reflect on the parts about yourself that you would never change. Don’t expect yourself to always feel confident, either. Accept that there are going to be bad moments; it’s okay to put on your sad playlist and curl into a ball. Be kind to yourself and remember: there are others who wouldn’t change a single thing about you.