Disney+ is set to release a film adaptation of The Haunted Mansion on October 8 for the Muppets, where Gonzo is challenged to spend one night in the Mansion. In Muppet fashion, the film will host special guests such as Will Arnett, Darren Criss and John Stamos alongside the Muppets themselves.
I love the Muppets; I’ve grown up loving them. When The Muppets came out in 2011, I was so excited to see them become popular again. However, there is often confusion on whether the Muppets are meant to be for adults or for kids. That’s why the ABC television show The Muppets only ran for one season in 2015, much to my dismay.
There is one show adaptation, however, that could be very popular if redone by the Muppets that I would absolutely watch, and I’m not the only one.
Over the summer, while waiting in a dreadfully long line at Universal Studios Florida, my family and I decided to cast the Muppets as if they were in Schitt’s Creek. A weird concept, but once you see this casting, you’ll wish it were a real thing.
Johnny Rose, Kermit
Starting off with a basic one, Kermit has to be the star of the show in any Muppet movie or TV show, automatically giving him the role of Johnny. Kermit often functions as the normal, calm center of the show, though at times can be annoyed by the chaos of Muppets around him, much as how Johnny struggles to adjust to his life in Schitt’s Creek. Kermit also appears to be a perfect fatherly figure for the other Muppets, through his fame and control over various situations he gets put into.
Moira Rose, Miss Piggy
Piggy always has the highest sense of style, and the attitude to go along with it, just like Moira. Alongside Kermit as Johnny, Piggy is just meant to play Moira. Convinced she’s meant for stardom and that nothing can stand in her way, Piggy assumes she has the right to anything she wants. Can you picture Piggy living in Schitt’s Creek? It would be the same image as Moira living there. On top of all that, no one can make an entrance like Piggy, and no one can make an entrance like Moira.
Alexis Rose, Janice
With a limited supply of female muppets to choose from, Janice seemed the best option. Fortunately, Janice matches the laid back, Valley girl style Alexis has, from her experience in her band “Electric Mayhem.” It isn’t a perfect character match, but it may be the exposure every Muppets fan needs to see Janice in a starring role. (This is a note to Disney—give us more female Muppets!)
David Rose, Pepe
The four-armed Pepe the King Prawn is a more minor muppet character, but if you’ve seen ABC’s The Muppets, you would agree that his sense of style and wild character traits would be hilarious in the role of David. His love for Hollywood doesn’t exactly match David’s, but the high-style life he believes he needs definitely does. Of course, we would need to replace some of his craziness for David’s more sarcastic humor and throw on some black sweaters, but then the transition would be complete.
Patrick Brewer, Scooter
The perfect contrast to Pepe, Scooter has a nerdy, innocent, put-together attitude that makes him just lovable enough. Scooter is on top of everything, thanks to his experience working backstage for The Muppet Show. Out of all the Muppets, Scooter seems the most human-like, with nervous tics and confusion of his parental situation. He also made some guest appearances on the Show itself, performing with Fozzie Bear, so we know he has the ability to sing “Simply the Best” to David, which is, of course, so important.
Roland Schitt, Gonzo
Gonzo takes pride in every aspect of his uniqueness, from his unclassifiable creature to his dangerous performance acts. Roland does the same, but with higher stakes, since he’s the mayor. The best Gonzo-Roland comparison was from The Muppet Movie, when Kermit said that Gonzo looked “a little like a turkey,” to which his conscience replied, “Yeah, a little like a turkey, but not much.” Imagine that conversation between Johnny and Roland and put it in the show. It would blend right in.
Jocelyn Schitt, Camilla
Camilla the Chicken dates Gonzo throughout most Muppet storylines, so naturally, they’d be together in this one as well. Jocelyn is always all over the place, and her part in the Jazzagals is a lot like Camilla’s common recurrence, performing songs with her fellow chickens. Camilla is just the type of character Piggy would never want to spend her time with, similar to Moira and Jocelyn. Every interaction with Jocelyn played by Camilla would be answered in clucks, providing another humorous aspect to this adaptation.
Stevie Budd, Yolanda
Again, at a loss for female Muppets, Yolanda has a brief history appearing sporadically as a friend of Rizzo, until the ABC show where she takes on a regular role as Kermit’s assistant. In that show, she is always studying at her desk to become an ultrasound technician, wanting more than just being an assistant. Similar to Stevie, she has a cynical outlook on life, but wants to make any move possible to make her life better. (Another note to Disney to give us more female Muppets!)
Ted Mullens, Fozzie
Fozzie is one of the most lovable characters of all the Muppets, as the guy who is nice to everyone, wants to brighten up everyone’s day and who tells all those horrible puns. Funny enough, Ted loves those horrible puns. While it may be hard to picture Alexis in love with Fozzie Bear, Ted kind of is a big, lovable, furry bear himself. All Fozzie wants is to be loved, as does Ted, leading to his own heartbreak at the end. Fozzie may seem like a joke, but both him and Ted have traits that make them such caring characters.
Twyla Sands, The Swedish Chef
One of my personal favorite castings has to include the Swedish Chef. Of course, Twyla is the sweetest person ever, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity for the Swedish Chef to run the cafe. Whenever Alexis comes to confide in Twyla, imagine the Swedish Chef being there for some girl talk to help her through all her problems, patting her on the back with his realistic hands. As far as the comedic side of the show goes, these would be some of the best scenes, I promise you.
Bob Currie, Sweetums
Bob, the owner of the garage, would be portrayed by the recurring background character Sweetums, the big, scary-looking, furry ogre who pretty much just stomps around in the back the whole time he’s in a scene. This is nothing against Bob, but Sweetums is actually a great guy, and would be the perfect one to cry about Gwen leaving him and to work at the town council.
Ronnie Lee, Statler & Waldorf
Ronnie’s generally not a fan of the Rose family, and they know it, too. Who hates the Muppets more than Statler and Waldorf? Ronnie’s sarcastic, yet hatred-filled comments come across to every audience much as Statler and Waldorf’s do. An even better addition to this casting is that we would have two characters splitting this role, making it even more comedic. Piggy working in the same office as Gonzo, Sweetums, Statler and Waldorf? That’s a disaster just waiting to happen.
Mutt Schitt, Rowlf
With a character whose name is literally Mutt, Rowlf the dog is meant to play him. Mutt’s quiet mysteriousness matches perfectly with Rowlf’s low-key, chill personality. Roland and Jocelyn’s son doesn’t match their crazy lives either, so the dog-chicken-Gonzo relation wouldn’t be that weird anyway.
Ray Butani, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker
Ray’s not a big character, but he’s always around, doing whatever job he’s working today. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker’s life in the lab would be replaced in the Creek with real estate, photography, travel agencies and Christmas tree sales. Ray’s not too bad to have around, and neither are Dr. Honeydew and Beaker, at least not until they get to work.
Dating both Stevie and David requires a character who’s both charming but off-putting enough where you just can’t trust him. Rizzo needs to be a part of this cast, and his tendency to cheat people into getting something he wants as seen in The Muppets Take Manhattan works for Jake perfectly.
If anyone ever gets a job working for Muppet Studios alongside Kermit and the gang, suggest a Muppet Schitt’s Creek adaptation, and I promise you great results.