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Are You Friend-Zoning The Wrong Guys?!

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at KU chapter.



So…there’s this guy…and you’ve been friends for a while. You may have known him since high school or you met him freshman year.  He’s a nice guy, you’ve got a lot in common and things are real chill with him. You can talk to him about anything and you spend hours watching The Walking Dead reruns with him, just like you would with your brother.  Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he drops the bomb…he wants to be more than friends.

Your mind starts racing because you’ve only viewed him as a friend. You start asking yourself, “Do I even like him like that?” “Should I give it a try?” but the more you think about it, you just can’t picture the two of you together in a romantic way. You don’t want to hurt him or lose the late night talks and Netflix marathons, so you do what most girls do under pressure: use the “I like how we are and I think we should stay friends” line, aka friend-zone him. 


It’s not that you don’t enjoy his company or think he’s a cool guy, you just don’t see him as “the one” for you. You don’t get the butterflies in your tummy when you see him or daydream about him during math class, he’s just your guy friend and that’s how you want it to stay.  However, you might be too busy daydreaming about your Mr. Wrong to notice that Mr. Right could be right in front of your face.

I will admit to being the friend-zone queen. I am very picky when it comes to guys and if I don’t feel that special spark right away, I just assume that we were meant to be friends.  But, there’s a part of me that knows that the guy that I friend-zoned would treat me like a queen and the guy that I’m daydreaming about would probably just treat me like I was part of his team. It’s a hard thing to think about because you can’t really help who you like; but sometimes what you want isn’t what you need.

Most attribute this to the “bad-boy syndrome” which is when girls overlook the nice guys and go after the bad boys that will give them excitement and heartbreak.  I don’t think girls want to be treated badly, but I do think bad boys know how to capture our attention in a way that nice guys can’t. A bad boy knows how to use his charm and charisma to make us feel lucky to be in his presence, while the good guy will just sit back and chill, resulting in them being friend-zoned. 


Like the rapper T.I. said, “Let your intentions be known or you’ll end up in the friend-zone.”  The bad boy will tell us right away what he wants, there’s no guessing with him. He might send a flirty text with the heart eyes emoji or slap your butt on the way out the door and this gets our attention. But what I’ve noticed about the good guys is that they often take their time and put themselves in the friend-lane. I’m not saying that all guys should smack our butts to let us know that they like us (I don’t want to go back to caveman days).  I’m just saying that trying to be our friend in the beginning can get you stuck there, because we’ve already mentally ruled you out.

However, ladies, we have to stop friend-zoning the wrong ones!  It can be scary when your guy friend randomly starts hitting on you, but, instead of being so quick to zone him, take some time to think about it.  Of course, there are some male friends that you could never ever see yourself with, but there are also probably one (or two) that you might be underestimating. 


Rihanna and Drake are the perfect example of a friend-zone decision gone wrong. The young and successful musicians have been friends for some time and it’s no secret that Drake has a crush on Rih-Rih.  But, in spite of the gem that she has in front of her face, she always seems to choose the wrong one. The obvious example, Chris Brown, whom she went back to after being physically assaulted by him in 2009.  Then there was baseball star, Matt Kemp, who turned out to be a player.  No doubt those guys are the hottest hotties that ever hottied, but they were definitely not what Rih needed. A bad girl like Rih needs someone who’s sweet, patient and caring, to calm her down a little, and that’s where Drake should come in.

Drake’s sensitive lyrics show that he is a gentleman and a sucker for love. The two have collaborated numerous times, but it was their single “Take Care,” released in 2011, that put them on potential couple alert. The intimate music video shows the two holding each other singing, “I know you’ve been hurt by someone else, I can tell by the way you carry yourself, but if you let me, here’s what I’ll do, I’ll take care of you.” It has even been said that his latest single, “Hold on We’re Going Home,” was about saving a girl from a bad relationship *cough, cough*.  When asked about Rihanna in a recent interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, he answered, “She’s the ultimate fantasy. I mean, I think about it. Like, ‘Man, that would be good.’ We have fun together, she’s cool and sh*t.  But we’re just friends. That’s my dog for life.”   Drake’s response was the perfect “I’ve been friend-zoned” statement.  

However, it seems as though Drizzy is making his way out of the dreaded friend-zone; just last week the two were spotted holding hands as she accompanied him on the last leg of his tour. That might be the best decision Rihanna has made since the long red hair she sported in the “Man Down” video.  Rihanna finally realized that she was friend-zoning the wrong guy. Who in the world would friend zone Drake anyway??  I swear I was going somewhere with this…oh yeah, for all the girls out there daydreaming about the perfect guy (like me), I bet there’s a nice guy standing in your friend-zone.  You may not think he’s your type but, chances are, he’s probably the type you need.  So, just like Rihanna, give your Drake a chance to take care of you.