“If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?”
This was one of the many questions my roommate asked me as we tried to distract ourselves from what seemed like piles and piles of homework. While we often have random conversations with the intent of procrastinating on our responsibilities, this one caught me off guard.
I have seen far too many movies that warn of the consequence associated with time travel (Disney’s Minutemen and all three of the Back to the Futures to name a few). Not to mention, I’m happy with my life and the people in it; there is no way I would want to risk altering my present.
However, I did start to think, “what would I tell myself if I could guarantee my life would turn out the same way?” I wondered what tips I would give my younger self that would make my high school years just a little easier (because trust me high school was NOT the best four years of my life).
This is what I came up with:
1. You don’t need to sacrifice values to have friends
You may feel like in order to keep your friends you must do things that don’t align with who you are. You may feel like you have to choose between these people and staying true to yourself. Well, you are wrong. Real friends don’t make you feel bad for having different beliefs. Don’t mix yourself up with people who care more about their image than your friendship.
2. Spending time by yourself does not mean you’re alone
There will be times where spend the entire day on your own. You’ll feel like everyone else has something better to do, and you’re stuck by yourself. Use this time as an opportunity to grow as an individual. And remember, you are never alone. There is always someone there that cares about you, even if you don’t see them.
3. Don’t worry about finding “the one”
You can date without the pressure of making sure that this is the person you are going to marry. Date for the purpose of learning what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t waste your nights tossing and turning over silly boys. When the right one comes along you’ll know. Until then, have fun and continue to date.
4. Closed doors are just new opportunities
Disappointment is natural when doors are slammed in your face. However, don’t be discouraged. When doors are shut, new doors do open. Plus, these doors are actually better suited for you and what you want. Just have faith.
5. Enjoy home cooked meals
There will come a day when you would rather starve than go to the dining hall to eat food. That is why it’s important to appreciate all the amazing dinner’s mom cooks for you now. Oh, and when she offers to pack your lunch, make sure you tell her thank you.
6. Numbers will never define you
Whether it is weight on the scale, score on the ACT/SAT, or quantity of friends, numbers will never define who you are as a person. You think that your worth is somehow tied to these digits, but that could not be further from the truth. Be kind. Be open-minded. Be forgiving. Be confident. These are the things that truly define you.
7. Old friends will resurface
Distancing of certain friends comes with growing up sometimes. You will lose friends simply because you aren’t in the same class anymore or you just stop texting. Just know that genuine friends always resurface. There are people you won’t talk to for years, but someday you’ll be closer than ever.
8. Appreciate the here and now
Like many teenage girls, you are so absorbed in the virtual world of Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. You are not living in the present, and you worry too much about how your life looks instead of how your life actually is. Take a break from social media, and stop constantly comparing yourself to others.
9. Be more honest
Far too often you keep feelings bottled inside. You rarely share when your feelings are hurt by others because you are too afraid of losing them. But let me tell you, the minute you start to be more open and honest about how you are feeling, your relationships will only strengthen.
10. You will be okay
Everyone says it, but there is always that little part of you that never believes it. The pressures of life sometimes seem to big to conquer, and you feel too small to handle. Trust me, your future happy and healthy self, things will get better.
I know this list is personal to me and my experiences on this planet thus far, but I hope that those of you reading this can find some way to apply it to your own life. I hope that if you are struggling right now, in big or small ways, that maybe this article can save you even a little bit of heartache.
Best wishes to present and future self!