There’s a common misconception about high school relationships and dating long distance in general. People view high school relationships as temporary and inferior to adult relationships. I will be the first to admit that if someone were to tell me two years ago that I would still be dating my high school sweetheart, while in college, when we live in different regions of the United States, I would think they were crazy. Quite honestly, I had always viewed high school relationships as dumb and a waste of time. I know this seems a bit harsh, but one must view high school relationships in the context of my early high school life in order to understand why I felt this way.
Ever since I was four years old I knew I wanted to become a lawyer and go to an ivy-league school. I told myself that I was going to make that my life goal. It sure was one hell of a challenge, but I grinded my way through school and always had my nose in a book. Most of my weekends were spent studying or trying to get recruited to play field hockey. Honestly, I had no life, but was satisfied because I was under the assumption that in order to be the best, I had to outwork everyone else. I always knew that I wasn’t going to school in Virginia, so logically I thought that dating someone my senior year would be a “waste of time” and a “distraction.” In my junior year of high school I made it very clear when one of my friends asked me about dating someone my senior year that, I replied with: “There is no way in hell that I’m trying to be tied down. I’m trying to start my life.”Well that changed pretty quickly, because the summer before my senior year, I met Logan. If we’re going to be perfectly honest, our first date was very awkward. He barely spoke, and he just kept staring at me. The boy looked like a deer in headlights. I remember even texting my friends saying that I was ready to dip out after this date and go to a party. It’s pretty ironic that I will be dating the awkward boy for two years this coming summer.
On top of our already weird date he asked me out immediately the next day. I gave the date a chance, though, and it turned out great. I really liked Logan, but still had no desire to date him. He actually asked me to be his girlfriend shortly after and I rejected him. However, he was persistent and it started to wear on me. Finally after a month of him being persistent, I gave in.
After a few short months of dating, my senior year rolled around and it was time to put in my college application. I still can remember upon filling out my application, hearing Logan crying on the phone. He said in the midst of tears, “I just want you to be happy. I want you to follow your dreams. Just know I’m trying to be the best I can be while you’re away, because you deserve nothing less than the best.” It was at this moment that I realized that I didn’t want to give him up. For a 16-year-old boy to put my happiness first and to decide to spend his senior year working his butt off in hopes that our relationship would continue, I knew that he was different.
In the weeks leading up to graduation, I was often asked when I was going to break up with Logan. Not once did someone ask if we were going to do long distance. Everyone acted as if I was some dumb, naive girl. However, by far the worst thing that I was told was, “Margo, you’re going to a baby ivy for Christ sake, you could date the best of the best. Everyone is just like you.” None of these people ever once considered the fact that maybe not everyone I date has to be just like me. For me, Logan was and always has been the best—he is my favorite part of me. If I were to date someone who is like me, I would go crazy. Dating someone who’s just like me would mean that I would be dating someone who is Type A, a perfectionist, and has what my friend calls “over-achiever syndrome.” If I am already all of these things, why on earth would it be a good idea to multiply that. I determined that I was going to follow my gut with Logan, and over the course of the past six months we’ve grown as a couple, more than we ever did in high school.Let me tell you, dating long distance isn’t sunshine and butterflies. It’s the ultimate test of trust and love. Yes, we fight, but at the end of the day we know that there is no one else that we would rather be fighting with. When I look back on all of my accomplishments, he is always at the top of my list. For me, to be 18 years old and have a boyfriend who is constantly working from sun up to sundown just to pay for a plane ticket, is an incredible blessing. I think it’s truly a beautiful thing to grow up and start life with your best friend by your side. Some of biggest moments of my life, he was sitting right beside me cheering me on. I couldn’t imagine the best moments of my life being spent with anyone else, and I look forward to being by his side for some of the biggest moments of his life. I know that not every high school long-distance couple is going to end up like this. For those who do, they recognize how beautiful it is to be able to witness the biggest moments of your favorite person’s life.
It’s not always easy watching the person you love grow up, but you appreciate them so much more knowing that they’ve been there to see how hard you’ve worked, so they will always put your happiness first. It’s difficult knowing that my boyfriend could be deployed. While I’ve known for a long time that this was the path he has chosen, I hate to admit it, but when people get very deep into telling me the risks he’s undergoing, I still cry at times. However, in front of him I always put on a brave smiling face because I’ve recognized that he’s done the same for me in order to put my happiness first.
Being a college student with a long-distance boyfriend isn’t always easy. I don’t get to go to formals with my boyfriend. Also, I get the pleasure of enduring people joking around with me that “I’m married.” I’ve learned somewhat to embrace the, “How’s your marriage and how are the in-laws?” question, because truly everyone just does it out of good fun. I’m quite positive a couple of my friends are probably as invested in my relationship as I am. I can remember one friend saying after a fight Logan that “We are too invested in this. You and Logan need to work this out.” We’re pretty sure she’s already planning a wedding. I told her give me six years and we will talk.
Logan and I are very lucky to have so many people who support us. While it has been trying at times balancing dealing with him still living at home, his parents have handled every situation with grace. I could not ask for a two more supportive boyfriend’s parents. I can only hope that when my children date, that I can guide them and provide support in the way that they have. I appreciate the faith that they have always had in us and for all the support they’ve given me since I’ve been in college. His family truly has become a second family of mine. They really are amazing people, and I am more thankful for both of them more than they even know. Luckily, my parents have also been extremely supportive of Logan and me. Having such supportive family and friends has made long-distance much easier than I had imagined. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but regardless of what happens, I believe that I am who I am today because of him. He’s taught me to fight for the things I love and to live life with no limits. (Logan if you’re reading this, I hope you have a safe flight home. Thank you for an amazing few days and for making my life so beautiful. Have a great Valentine’s Day and try not to miss me. I love you a ton and can’t wait to see your dog!)
Image Credit: Margo Minor