I love New Girl. I love Zooey Deschanel. I love pink and I love glitter and I love all things girly. But you know what I don’t [always] love? The internet. Yes, the internet has done tons of great things for this world, and having it makes life a million times easier, but sometimes the internet is just one giant breeding ground for mean. It is also where people take things that are downright wrong and run with them and where uninformed people find all of the answers.
Feminism has fallen victim to this.
The internet is swarming with all kinds of misconceptions about feminism, but I’ve recently noticed that lots of the ones on “anti-feminist” Tumblr accounts are created by women themselves. These accounts feature hundreds of thousands of images of women smiling and holding flashcards saying, “I don’t need feminism because: I like to wear make up… I like feeling pretty… I like being girly… I like wearing skirts and dresses… I like having shaven legs…,” and the list goes on.
This is problematic for two reasons. First, being a feminist has nothing to do with whether or not one someone wears makeup or a skirt. It has nothing to do with attractiveness or sex or shaving one’s legs. These women are obviously confused about what feminism is, and they are spreading misinformation to others. This leads us to the second problem: by spreading false notions of feminism, these women are misinforming others, especially young people, by telling them that feminism is all about physical appearance and attacking femininity, which it isn’t.
The misinformed could be anybody, and while they might not “need feminism,” they might also need feminism very much. They might be victims of discrimination who don’t know their rights, but should and deserve to. They might be women who struggle with feeling unfeminine, or men who struggle with feeling unmasculine. They could be a member of the LGBTQIA community. Although it may be difficult to see, we are deeply hurting those who do “need feminism” and those who recognize how necessary it is when we disparage feminism this way. The point of feminism isn’t to prevent women from wearing makeup or shaving their legs, but to achieve gender equality in all levels of society.
The problem with the link between femininity and feminism does not end with “anti-feminists” mindlessly separating the two. The greater problem lies in the fact that some of those who wave their feminist flag proudly are also shaming women for being feminine, claiming that true feminists reject the stereotypical femininity that comes with being a woman. This is possibly even more harmful than people posting about why they are not feminists on the internet.
One can easily make the argument that those who need the support of feminism don’t look for the opinions of “anti-feminists,” but to those who define feminism. Although I still believe that the former is harmful, I agree to an extent. If the goal of feminism is to achieve gender equality and to accept that it’s okay for people to deviate from gender norms, then it shouldn’t exclude groups of people, especially just because they are feminine.
As a woman who wears makeup and skirts and shaves her legs and plans to get married and have children, I am quite familiar with how it is to be a “girly feminist.” However, how someone dresses and what they plan to do with their life is not what makes one a feminist: it is their belief in gender equality. That’s it. Being overtly feminine doesn’t imply that a woman is less of a feminist, just as how being overtly masculine doesn’t imply that a man isn’t one.
In conclusion, please remember that feminism benefits everyone, and a person’s choice to wear makeup and dress in a feminine or masculine or androgynous way doesn’t hurt anyone, but shutting them out sure does. Feminism is about embracing, not excluding.
If you’d like to read more about being a “bad feminist,” I recommend checking out Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.
XOXO,
Feminist Killjoy.
Image Credit: Buzzfeed, Meralee, Tumblr, Cable TV