“Wait, stop, no spoilers!”
“Oh, never mind, if you haven’t seen/heard/watched this I don’t want to spoil it for you.”
Whenever my friends and I are hanging out the above statements are frequently uttered. Art and entertainment are important parts of our lives and we love talking about our favorite (or least favorite) shows, movies, music, books, games and other forms of media. Due to their importance in our lives, sometimes we self-censor or ask someone to divert their conversation, at least until they’re out of earshot of the person who hasn’t experienced something.
At first glance, it might seem odd to place constraints on conversation. Shouldn’t people be able to say what they want without constantly worrying about saying something wrong? Yes, but it’s also important to respect the wishes of people who want to be able to approach a piece of media on their own terms.
The tricky part of respecting people’s wishes, and something I’m always learning to recognize and navigate, is that “their own terms” can look radically different from person to person. For Jenny Nagel, spoilers “allow [her] to see the future in a way that [she] can’t in real life,” and are a way of making the experience of watching something more personal. For others, spoilers such as knowing episode titles or even who’s in the cast is too much information.
I fall somewhere in the middle of the two. I try to avoid spoilers as much as possible, but I do like to know who’s cast in something and I’m not averse to watching some shows out of order, like Steven Universe or Legend of Korra (I watched the last three seasons and haven’t seen Avatar, the series that came before it).
The time a spoiler most affected me was when I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Years before I started it, I looked at a book that was set after the show ended and had the last episode completely explained to me. The whole time I watched the series I knew exactly what was going to happen, especially during the climactic moments. Fortunately, my prior knowledge didn’t make it impossible for me to enjoy the show because so much happens over the course of seven seasons that I didn’t know about. However, the magic definitely faded a little as the end drew near.
Recently I learned about the fate of a character on a show that I watch but haven’t caught up to the most recent episode. While it was a very significant spoiler, I’m actually glad I learned about it because now I can prepare myself emotionally for the event.
The bottom line is that everyone experiences art and entertainment in different ways. There’s generally an unspoken sense of what is and isn’t acceptable to talk about in regards to shows and movies, but sometimes one person’s idea of a spoiler is another’s regular topic of conversation.
The trick is to respect people’s wishes once they’ve made them known to you. It might mean holding back on a juicy piece of casting news or it might mean going to get dessert from the servery with someone so that you can discuss the latest episode of a show without worrying about spoiling it for the people at your table. Creating the best experience for everyone ultimately engenders more positive energy in the world than refusing to compromise.