In this day and age, we are constantly flooded with images of what the ideal relationship should be like, on social media, in movies and more. While #couplegoals can be cute, it can also lead to a lot of toxic behaviors that will only hurt both people in the long run. Here’s some I’ve noticed:
1. “Micro-cheating”
I recently came across a BuzzFeed feature on Snapchat titled “How to know if your partner is micro-cheating.” I looked into this further, and it seems that there are two different definitions of micro-cheating. On one hand, some people say it is another way to identify emotional cheating as opposed to physical cheating; they aren’t actually “doing anything” but it is still a concern. On the other hand, a lot of other people identify this as cheating via social media, such as liking or commenting on someone else’s photos. This was troubling for me because everybody is constantly bombarded with images of other people and taking two seconds to like someone’s post is meaningless. When you attach a deep meaning to an action that more than likely meant nothing, there is a deeper issue of distrust created. When you are in a relationship with someone, you should trust them. If you find a reason not to trust them, then that is grounds to end the relationship. But simply liking someone else’s post on social media is not grounds to not trust them.
2. “Side chicks” and “side dudes”
Another thing I see constantly in social media posts is this concept of having someone “on the side.” While there are some people who are in perfectly happy and healthy polyamorous or open relationships, if there is an expectation of commitment, acting outside of that is not healthy. This is just a way to excuse or explain your average cheating situation. I often see posts like the gif below, where it is a joke that a girl who is just a “side chick” gets clingy and wants to post pictures to show that she was with the guy, but he freaks out because he doesn’t want his “real” girlfriend to know. As I mentioned before, you should only enter a relationship if you feel that you are trustworthy and that you can trust the other person. Anything else would create a very unhealthy dynamic.
3. Way too much, way too fast
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I see couples in their late teens-early twenties who have gotten married, settled down, maybe even had kids already, before the average person has even finished college or found a career path. I’ve seen posts that say something along the lines of “We have a house and a marriage and all you have is parties and boys who don’t care about you.” While I’m sure some people do find someone they want to spend the rest of their life with early, not everyone does! And it’s okay to have fun in college and even after! We shouldn’t belittle people for not rushing into lifelong commitments before they need to.
Overall, I think everybody should examine themselves and others before they enter into a relationship that is potentially not going to be good for them in the long run.