Have you ever found yourself avoiding the tasks that will impact your future? Internships, resume building or networking? The future can be scary. The thought of failure can be scary. Trying to avoid the future so the worries don’t become reality does no good, so let’s take a moment to talk about it. I used to look to the future with hope and excitement. But as that “future” becomes more of a reality with each passing day, I find the unknowns to be quite scary. So, for anyone who has felt uncertainty or the anxiety of the daunting and rapidly approaching future, this one’s for you.
There are barely three weeks left in my junior year of college. The timer to the real world feels as if it’s counting down faster and faster with each passing day. So, what do you do when you thought you had everything figured out? What happens when you’re unsure about the future and what you want to do for the rest of your life? Well, the best I can do is tell you what I have done, with the hope that you may gain some insight. The good news is, you’re not alone.
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. From middle school I knew I wanted to go into a creative field, and by the time I graduated high school, my heart was set on fashion design. My freshman year at Kent State, I found there was a hard road ahead of me, but I had confidence I could do it. I enjoyed what I was doing, I met so many wonderful people and was given so many opportunities to aid in my success after graduation. I felt like there were so many opportunities out there for me. I learned about the many careers I could pursue with my degree, and I was hopeful, glad not to have four walls closing in on me. There was no single door I was being pushed through–I had a vast hallway full of doors that I could choose from.
As I started my sophomore year with a new minor in tow, I slowly began to feel the hallway I once stood in shrink before my very eyes. I had more studio classes, I struggled more with the workload, and the fate of being a fashion designer was drilled into me, as if there were never any other options. As I struggled with my major, I blossomed in my new minor, creative writing. I realized that writing had never seemed like a chore. Once I sat down and got to work, it all came so naturally. I struggled with writer’s block here and there, but it was all part of the process, and I always came out the other side proud of my words. I was happy to just write.
So why am I telling you this? Because the reason I was so scared of the future is because I was told there was only one outcome for me. As I broke down repeatedly trying to complete my studio projects, I dealt with the blow of professors asking me why I was doing fashion design if I was beginning to think I did not want to be a designer. I felt as if they couldn’t grasp the idea of my metaphorical hallway of doors. They only saw the single room, the one door.
Looking back, I realized that if I wouldn’t have let so many fears creep into my mind, if I wouldn’t have let the words stir up in my mind creating fears and intrusive thoughts about my future, then perhaps I could have been more diligent. Maybe I could have been excited to search for internships or learn more about my study away opportunities, thus wanting to go out into the world and explore.
Now, I have plans to do my internships and study away as a senior. Which is okay, I’m taking the future at my own pace. But I know I pushed it away because I was scared. I was scared I wasn’t good enough. I was scared there was nothing I could do, that maybe I just didn’t have what it took to be going in to such a competitive career.
Joining Her Campus at Kent State this past fall has been the best decision I’ve made for myself. I wish I could have pushed my fears aside and found this wonderful organization sooner. I’ve learned so many things of value already, even after just two semesters in the club. I was welcomed and felt such a sense of belonging from the first meeting I attended. I feel as though I’ve found my purpose. Something to be excited about with each passing day.
Her Week is one of the amazing experiences that inspired me to grab hold of my future and write this very article. Her Week is a week-long event put on by Kent State’s chapter of Her Campus. These events include insightful panels from women in industries such as media, journalism, literature and fashion. There are amazing networking opportunities. These events were open to everyone on campus, and completely free as well. The insight brought to me from the wonderful line up of panelists this year made me realize that though the future can be scary, it is only as scary as you make it out to be. The opportunities are there, so if you’re willing to take them, you can go such a long way.
Pursue what you’re passionate about. You control your own future. There will be rejections, and that’s okay. Because someone will say yes. It is the yes that matters. Someone will see your talent; someone will want you.
So, even when a rejection is sent or when no email comes at all, know that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be disappointed, so long as you take a deep breath and find the person out there who sees your work for all that it is.
My life is not what I expected it to be. I deviated from my original plan and it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to change your mind! I know there are so many careers out there for me in the world of fashion and in the world of writing and editorial. So, take that deep breath, don’t be afraid and don’t hide from your future. Take hold, you got this!