I have loved Halloween for as long as I can remember. Picking out a Halloween costume was an event for me. I’d force my parents to take me to every Halloween and party store within a fifteen mile radius and I’d beg to get the most elaborate version of my costume available. I’d watch “Halloweentown” and “Twitches” religiously, and dance along to “Calling All The Monsters” from “A.N.T. Farm” as if I were at the biggest party ever. As soon as the clock struck midnight on October 1st, it was, in my opinion, the best month of the year.
I have an “unofficial checklist” of fall themed things to do. Going to White House Fruit Farms, a local hot spot is always the first one I can think of. They have apple cider, pumpkin patches, delicious donuts and the most adorable photo-ops you can imagine. Going to the Maze Craze with my friends and getting lost and scared is another must. The season isn’t complete without an escape room or a haunted house, and costume shopping is one of the final priorities before the big night comes.
Halloween is going to look a little bit different for me this year. It’s my first year of college, and I’m spending Halloween completely away from home. I haven’t done any of my usual fall activities, and have been busy with midterms and tests that are scarier than any horror movie I’ve ever seen. I’m excited to see what Halloween looks like in a college setting, but I can’t help but reminisce on how things used to be.
My Dad’s birthday is on Halloween, so naturally every year I spent Trick-Or-Treating, my Dad was there. We’d make a whole day out of it. If Halloween fell on a school day (which I honestly preferred), getting home from school my sisters and I would instantly run up the stairs to begin getting ready. My go-to Halloween costumes as a child were Cinderella or a witch. Although I changed it up in the later years, many of my favorite memories were made dressed up in those classics. We’d do our makeup, and our mom would help. It was chaos. Our neighborhood started Trick-or-Treat pretty early on in the night, and we’d go up and down the streets until at least one bag of candy was filled per person–including my Dad.
For some reason, it normally rains on every Halloween. I can actually only remember one time when it didn’t rain, and strangely enough, I was more miserable without the cold and dreary weather. When it was time to go back home, my sisters and I would spill out our bags onto the floor and then compare to see who got the most candy. Then we’d watch a Disney or Nickelodeon Halloween Special as the Trick-or-Treaters began to die down, sing my Dad a happy birthday, eat some cake, and go to bed. This was the routine every year for the first twelve years of my life.
In sixth grade, one of my childhood best friends invited me to her Halloween party. It would be the first Halloween I would spend with someone other than my family. Naturally, I was excited to go. She was a year older than me and all of her friends were super cool. I went as a pirate, and regretted it pretty quickly when I realized how juvenile my costume was compared to the other kids. It was a total “Mean Girls” moment, except everyone was sober and hyper-aware of just how stupid I looked. We went Trick-or-Treating and ate pizza and listened to music, and it was generally a fun time. But I remember feeling really guilty afterwards. When I went home, my sisters and Dad were still out. When they got home, we sang happy birthday and went to bed. I felt like I had betrayed my Dad. It was his birthday, and I spent it with friends. Eventually I got over that worry, and accepted that it was normal to spend Halloween with other people–and as long as I wished my Dad a happy birthday, there was nothing wrong with it.
For the next couple of years, I’d go to several Halloween parties with several different friends. But when I look back at what I consider to be my last “childhood Halloween,” I always come back to the year I was a pirate. I’m not sure exactly what shifted. I don’t know why after that year Halloween went from a family-oriented holiday to a friend-oriented one. I often reminisce about the way things used to be. The routine and familiarity of it all. Fall was so much more fun when I was younger. But why? Why am I not feeling fulfilled with the lavish parties and wild nights out? Why am I not excited about buying a costume and getting ready? Why do I hate candy?!?
Growing up means growing out of things. I grew out of the excitement I once had for Halloween. It doesn’t have to mean I love it any less–I just love it in different ways. I still get excited to celebrate my Dad’s birthday, and I still love to go out with my friends. Disney and Nickelodeon will forever make the best Halloween television episodes, and “Halloweentown” and “Twitches” will remain a cultural phenomenon until the end of time.
I may not feel the same youthful excitement that I once harbored for Halloween, and I may not ever enjoy collecting bags upon bags of candy again. But I know that those memories will stay with me forever, and that’s what is important. In life, we go through stages. When we were little, many of us believed in Santa Claus and The Tooth Fairy. As we grew up, we learned that our parents were behind these childhood heroines. For better or for worse, the memories we made connected to these characters helped shape us. If my parents hadn’t helped keep the Santa magic alive for me, I wouldn’t have enjoyed Christmas nearly as much as I do today. Although it hurts to know I’ll never feel the same magic I did again, it is comforting to know that someday I can help another kid to experience the same joys I did as a child.
Ultimately, traditions are passed down through family. My Halloween experience may seem nothing like yours, or it may be remarkably similar. Maybe you never liked Halloween as a child. Maybe you don’t like Halloween now. But regardless of those feelings, it is important to remember that eventually you may be the person that influences how a child views the holiday for the rest of their lives. I think it is really cool that the world works like this. Maybe I’m feeling too philosophical, and maybe I’m thinking too hard about this. But if I can help someone to feel the magic I once felt surrounding Halloween, at least I’ll know I didn’t grow up for nothing.