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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at K State chapter.

Let’s face it: dating in college can be hard. And hard for valid reasons! You have your friends that met a guy through a friend of a friend, the friends that have been dating their partner since high school, even the random acquaintances you barely know that you see on campus with their partner and just think, “Man. I wish I had that”. But sometimes it can be about more than what your friends have and can just be due to loneliness. We’ve all been there. Because we all know that feeling, we all most likely know the feeling of what it feels like to meet a guy that you become interested in, only to realize that you’re interested in the attention. Before we get straight to the point let’s break it down, shall we? 

    I’ve been at this place many times in my life, but specifically during my senior year of high school. It was towards the end of the year, feelings and adrenaline were at an all-time high because of the number of changes that were about to occur. A good amount of my friends were in relationships that looked like a scene right out of High School Musical 3 and there I was, lonely and longing for something similar. Then came one of my last school dances where I went with one of my best guy friends. This guy and I were involved in all the same things, shared so many similar interests, and shared many moments together. He was the best date I had and that most likely will never change. We had an amazing time at the dance and then later went to an after-party with some friends where it became extremely clear that something was going on between us, but not in the way you probably imagine. 

    I would be a fool if I didn’t mention that I had thought about how our friendship could progress beyond a friendship multiple times. It was hard not to! We were together constantly, he knew so much about me, and I felt so comfortable around him. It became clear that night that he thought about the exact same things. He sat me down to do what I call the “let’s talk about our feelings” talk, which of course got me very excited. It was the moment I had waited for all year, where a guy finally confessed his feelings for me, and the sense of being lonely and longing for a relationship ended! The conversation built up more and more all the way to that one small but oh so heavy question, “would you want to go out with me?”, and my perspective on what I wanted to do all changed within that one moment, that one question. 

    Questions swarmed the entirety of my head for what felt like a minute of silence between my reply to his question. “What about college next year?” or “What would our friends think”. But then the question that impacted it all hit: “Why say yes if you only like the idea of him but not him?”. It’s a question that tore me apart specifically and led me to immediately reply with the simple phrase “I can’t”. I spent a year reflecting over this conversation, this guy, and what we had. But it comes to a point where you realize what you think you have with someone a lot of times is only what you want to have with someone. And that is perfectly okay. 

    I got to college and realized that I was going to wait. I wasn’t going to rush into anything because of this experience. I learned that it’s hard sometimes to differentiate what is actually happening between you and someone versus what you want to happen. We all want that relationship with someone that makes you feel loved, cared for, and just happy. But sometimes to really achieve those, we have to be patient and not immediately jump on the nearest thing that looks like it will bring love, care, happiness, and romance. Love, care, and happiness can come in all shapes and forms within women, men, family, friends, and colleagues. It’s a romance that cannot come in just any shape or form. The next time you meet a guy at a party or are set up on a blind date with the preconceptions of feeling lonely or longing for someone to hold on, remember that it is gonna come when it is meant to come and in the meantime, there is so much happiness, care and love within reach in so many other areas of life. It may take some time, but if you put the time in, it’ll happen and it will no longer just be about the attention but about what makes you whole within the inside.

Ava Hauser

K State '23

Hello everyone! My name is Ava Hauser and I am a sophomore at Kansas State University! I am studying Elementary Education with an emphasis in Special Education.
Sydney is the Co-Founder and President of the Kansas State Her Campus chapter. Sydney is currently a junior majoring in Journalism and Mass Communications at Kansas State University with an emphasis in Digital Marketing. She is also is minoring in Psychology, and hopes to one day pursue a career in the social media marketing industry. Sydney spends her free time as a portrait and creative photographer in the greater Kansas City, MO, and Manhattan, KS areas.