Dating: it’s something that incurs both lots of excitement and lots of anxiety, especially for young adults. There’s such a thrill when you meet a potential new love interest and the sparks begin to fly. You begin to measure your time based on when you’ll get to see them again, and you fly to check every notification on your phone in case it’s them, and then you end up majorly disappointed when it’s your mom asking if you got the socks she mailed you (sorry, Mom). However, along with this thrill comes major anxiety. College is a very nerve-wracking time in our lives already, and then dealing with the inherent ups and downs of dating can only add to our stress. Some people consider dating to be a cornerstone to the college experience, but I feel like it can be more of a distraction from the more important parts of the college experience.
You have more time to focus on the other parts of your social life when you stay single in college. All the time and energy you would be spending with one person if you were dating someone can be spread out and spent building better relationships with your friends, meeting new people, and enjoying extracurriculars. I’ve met some of my best friends while in college, and having the time to spend talking to them instead of a significant other has been invaluable to me.
Not only do you have extra time to focus on the other aspects of your social life, but you have more time and energy to focus on yourself, your schoolwork, and your goals. I’m a very driven person and I have a lot of short term and long term goals for my life that I want to focus on without the distraction of a boyfriend getting in the way.
College is a time to find yourself (corny, I know), figure out your career, and if you’re lucky, your life path. This is a time in our lives filled with lots of question marks. What will we study? What do we want to do for a job after we graduate? Where do we want to live once we leave? Dating complicates the equation because you’re adding someone else and all of their question marks to your life. Not only do you have to think about where you want to live and work, but where your partner wants to live and work. It can get messy and complicated, especially when you realize you both want different things in life. For the right person, it will work out if you both put in the effort and tackle life’s challenges together, but for the majority of people life takes them on different paths. While this may not be an issue for some people and situations, I’m the type of the person that thinks and plans for the future and the uncertainty would have a negative impact on me.
Another thing to think about with dating in college is study abroad and its potential impact on your relationship. It’s no secret that long distance relationships suck, especially when you’re not even in the same time zone as the other person. It puts a major dent in communication and just being able to see the other person. Plus, worrying about when your next Skype is going to happen or when their package is going to arrive can distract you from all the amazing things you’re there to see and learn. Granted, if you;’ve been dating this person for a while, a couple months apart might be bearable, but for any new relationship, long distance can be the kiss of death.
Last but not least, you don’t have to deal with any relationship drama, stress, or anxiety when you stay single in college. Like I said before, relationships are already challenging and stressful, and this is especially true in college especially with how dating has changed over the years. There’s the infamous dating apps to deal with and their endless frustrations as well as how societal expectations for college dating have changed. There are not only relationships, hookups, friends with benefits, situationships, and many others. While having more options can sometimes be a good thing, in this case I have found so many options to be overwhelming, confusing, and frustrating. I’ve had a hard time finding people who are looking for the same thing out of a romantic connection that I am which has brought a lot of pain and unnecessary confusion to my life. I doubt I’m the only person to have had these kinds of experiences, which is why I think it’s better to avoid all of the drama and confusion entirely and wait until I’ve accomplished more of my life goals and I have a better understanding of what I want out of life and where I am going before I bring another person into the picture.
While dating in college can be a fun adventure for some, I’ve found it to be an annoying distraction that wastes time I could be using to accomplish my goals. College is a time to make friends, discover new hobbies, and learn new things, not to find a significant other. While I know many people who have met their current partner/spouse in college, I don’t think this path is the right one for me or many other people, and that’s completely fine. I plan to make the most of my college experience without a man on my arm, and I couldn’t be happier with that decision.