#JMUPROBLEMS: Top Ten Most Annoying Things at JMU

Don’t get me wrong; I love JMU. I love it so much that I cried when I turned in my graduation application last week. Yet, as much as we students are ferociously loyal to our institution of higher education, you can’t help but notice a few areas that need a little TLC. As a senior, it’s much easier to spot the flaws under the shiny exterior. We’ve affectionately dubbed this list of the top ten most annoying things that happen on campus #JMUPROBLEMS.

10. The Guy-Girl Ratio
We were warned. As prospective students our Student Ambassador tour guides told us about this unfortunate fact, and as first years we were informed of the 60:40 ratio yet again. It isn’t until you’re almost done with your first semester and your high school friends are bringing home their new college boyfriends for Thanksgiving that the shock finally sets in – there really are no boys here. Then, of course, when you find one he’s usually already in a relationship. JMU can be a tough place for dating….but at least the guys we do have are hot!

9. FrOGs.
As a former First Year Orientation Guide I feel a little guilty citing this as #9, but c’mon. There are only so many times one can play “Ride That Pony” with people they met two hours earlier before it starts to get creepy. As integral as the 1787 August Orientation is to new students, it feels like a heavily structured summer camp to most – and I’m pretty sure we stopped attending those once we turned thirteen. Not to mention, who the hell can be that happy and excited on that little sleep all the times? No one. That’s who.

8. People who pass out fliers on The Commons
Unless you’re stopping me to hand out another T-Shirt, water bottle, frisbee, or pack of condoms – do not stop me in The Commons. There is nothing worse than trying to go to class or lunch and have people shove brightly colored pieces of paper in your face to try to get you to join their club or come to their event. If I wanted to join the Baby Alaskan Seal Conservation Society (apologies if this is actually a thing), then I would have joined it by now and a little neon green slip of paper is not going to change my mind. In fact it will probably end up on the ground about 10 feet away, and then you made me litter. Jerk.

7. General Education Requirements
Some girls were never meant to do math. I’m one of them. Why the university insisted on crushing my GPA by requiring me to take approximately 40 classes I have zero interest in using for the rest of my life I’ll never know. Sure it provides a well rounded, liberal arts education, but the fact that I can’t take classes for my major until I’ve completed The History of Knitting 101 with a C or better is seriously annoying. I’ve actually taken a GSCI class where we took a field trip to a slaughterhouse. A. Slaughter. House.  

6. When Someone Sits At Your Table In The Library Without Asking
JMU is a friendly place; we hold doors, we start conversations with strangers, and we have free beer. That does not mean I am welcoming you to sit at my table in Carrier without at least asking first. I can’t spread out my class materials and focus on what I’m doing if I have to worry about the rando who just rudely crashed my one-person library party. If you seriously can’t bring yourself to go sit in a cubicle where all of the other kids that were too slow to score a table sit, at least ask me nicely if you can join.

5. Slow Wi-Fi
Nothing ruins procrastinating on a ten-page paper than having your Wi-Fi cut out while on campus. Nothing. This usually occurs during the peak work hours of 6PM – 11PM, and at that point you might as well just go home and continue Facebook stalking your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s ex-best friend from home. You weren’t really going to write that paper tonight anyway...

4. Long Lines
It’s bound to get a little crowded when you go to a big school. However, having to wait 45 minutes for a Starbucks Barista to call out your butchered name crosses the line of normal-crowded and verges on Coachella-crowded. It has become almost protocol for students to avoid popular destinations such as Starbucks, Market One, and Dukes at prime rush hours or be forced to feel like you’re waiting in line at the DMV when all you really want is a damn sandwich. By the time I get to the front of the line I might actually have already gnawed my own arm off – and don’t even get me started on trying to find a seat afterwards.

3. Informational E-Mails  
I don’t think there has ever been a time when a JMU informational E-mail has ever actually been informational or relevant to my life. Not to mention they are a total tease. Think of all the times you’ve pulled your iPhone out after class to see that you have 7 unopened e-mails and thought you were popular. Nope, just JMU clogging your inbox to let you know that there is a symposium on the life cycles of guinea pigs tonight in Memorial Hall at 8 p.m. Oh, ok. Cool. On that note, who would actually go all the way to Memorial by choice?

2. Class Registration
If you have never read or seen The Hunger Games series just look at JMU’s class registration process. That’s pretty much a synopsis. How do they ever expect you to graduate on time when you’re competing for the last seat left of the last section of the required class for your major and you still have two more days until you can sign up? Seriously, there is nothing more frustrating than those little blue boxes on MyMadison. “May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.”

1. Parking and Parking Services
As a classmate puts it, “I feel personally victimized by Parking Services every day.” Trying to find a spot before your final exam is like an exam of yourself – that you will fail. If you manage to find a spot anywhere on campus, it’s like Christmas came early. Beware to future off-campus residents: Leave your apartment with at least 30 minutes to spare or you might as well consider just not going to class that day. You’ll probably drive around one of 3 parking deck options no less than 5 times each and end up parking in one of the always open faculty spots, only to leave your car for 30 seconds before Parking Services strikes. They are creatures that prowl, waiting for you to hit the lock button on your car door and then at the most opportune moment, they pounce. By the time we graduate, I think we’ll all have paid at least half our student loans back in parking tickets.

There you have it collegiettes, did everything you were thinking of make the cut or do you have any other grievances?