As the first semester of this year is coming to a close, some of you collegiettes have encountered some conflicts living with someone. If it is the first time you are living with someone, you have probably found that it is a challenge! Even if it this is not the first time, it’s still difficult. Also, living in the same room with someone is WAY different from living in an apartment or house together. Here are a couple of tips on how to live with someone.
1. Communication is key.
Let each other know what is going on and when you know you will be stressed. Your roommate is less likely to get mad if you snap when you’re stressed if you let her know you have five tests and three papers to write all in the same week. It is OK to leave encouraging messages, too! Everyone needs a little TLC sometimes.
2. Do NOT let things go if it really bothers you, but choose your battles wisely.
If you have a problem with something, say it right then and there. Do not let things build up, because that only creates a stressful environment for you and your roommate. Of course no one is perfect, but when something starts to get on your nerves, take a step back from the situation and ask yourself why. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with your roommate and things that normally would not bother you are only bothersome because of a bigger part of your life. Don’t nit-pick, because no one wants to go to college and live with their mom.
3. Set up ground rules from the beginning.
If you know you don’t want someone rummaging through your clothes, food, drawers, makeup or anything else- SAY SO! Don’t leave that up for interpretation. If you’re an early riser and your roommate likes to stay up late on her computer, compromise on how the lights should go. Christmas lights work really well when you need just enough light to keep working, without completely disturbing your roommate.
4. Give yourself some space.
Not everyone can get along 24/7, but that doesn’t mean it should get the best of you. Not all roommates are best friends, or even friends at all. Don’t take out other frustrations on her though. If you feel yourself starting to become extremely stressed, take some “me time” and let yourself decompress. Later, talk about it with your roommate and let her know what is actually going on in your life.
5. Lastly, if you say you are bothered by something, do not be hypocritical and do the same thing.
Take responsibility for what you do and say. We all have things that bother us, and sometimes we are bothered by things and we don’t even know why. But when you tell someone you don’t like something, do your best to refrain from that same action. For example, waking up and blasting music would annoy any sleeping roommate. So, if you let her know that bothers you, but that same night you blast yours, it will cause even more tension to build.
Living with someone is a challenge from the start, and if you have never lived with someone in the past, it can be even worse. Take yourself out of the immediate situation when it arises and think about why it really happened in the first place. It’s college, and we are all balancing a million things at once with classes, clubs and organizations. Remember to be patient and treat each other with kindness. Everyone has good and bad days, so try not to judge. There is always a part of her story you won’t know, and if you did, chances are you would give her a hug instead of resenting any odd behavior. We can learn something from every single person we meet if we really pay attention. Live happy!