If you really think about it, college is the prime time for meeting the opposite sex. There is no other time in your life than college when you’ll be surrounded by as many guys the same age as you as when you’re in your college years (and hey, it’s ok if it’s more than four!). Living on the same campus or in the same apartment building as these male collegians is a heady experience because for one thing it is the ultimate time for eye candy but it’s also filled with potential. Potential for what you might ask? As some of us may have learned, college is the time when just about anything goes with guys: friends with benefits? Sure! Dance floor make-out dude? Why not? “Study” buddy? Go for it! All of these things aren’t quite relationships but can lead into them. But what if you are in a committed relationship in college? Is it always as seemingly carefree and fun as these other arrangements our girlfriends, or that loud girl three desk down from you, always manage to have?
If we’ve learned anything from some of our favorite couples of all time (Carrie & Big, Noah & Allie, Derek & Meredith, etc.), it’s that relationships aren’t easy. They take work. And with all of the added stresses of college, relationships shouldn’t be another thing to worry about…right? College students live in a world of deadlines, unlimited refills, and trips to the library, so it’d be logical that our relationships with the opposite sex would be as fin
ite too.
However, as I talk to my close friends about their relationships, I hear over and over again that things are hard. Or complicated. Or stupid. Or that they can’t handle it anymore. It seems so cosmically unfair that these beautiful and intelligent women are being so emotionally tried by something that is meant to lift them up and make them see stars. I couldn’t help but wonder, was it the college environment or the guy that was causing this distress?
Relationships in college can be no different than ones in the real world: the same trials and the same up’s and down’s. But because college is such an extreme setting, with everything from theme parties and all-nighters to deal with, maybe it seems logical for our relationships to not be on the extreme end and to be something we care about but don’t necessarily have to devote ourselves to. They can be a balancing act and if you ask me, it’s all about finding what sort of balance is best for you.
Now I’m not advocating for you to not try in a relationship you have with a guy (unless he’s done something to deserve it…kidding!) but maybe what I’m trying to say is take a step back if you feel yourself being consumed by it. I know it’s not always going to be easy but whatever relationship you decide to have shouldn’t cause you to be stressed. College is the time to find yourself and discover what you want; the same should apply to your relationships.
Personally, I like to talk things out, whether it’s with a friend, my mom, or the guy that’s I’m involved with. This way, there are no grey areas for either of you. Remember that you are beautiful and deserve and are entitled to every happiness in life. Don’t forget that when things get tough and if not, there’s always a Taylor Swift song to listen to.