Q: Dear Kara, I’ve been best friends with this guy for almost ten years now and I’ve always had ‘more than friends’ feelings. But recently I told him and things aren’t mutual. I don’t know if I can be just his friend anymore, but I don’t want to throw away a perfect friendship otherwise.
– The Best Friend
A: Dear The Best Friend, I think it’s important to reflect on why you have stayed friends for so long. If you find yourself saying it was only in the hopes of something more, then maybe you need to reevaluate how great of a friend he is. But, if you truly enjoy his company and think you can get past him not feeling the same way, then I say it’s not worth ending the friendship. Give it some time without talking and see if you miss him or the idea of him. That should give you the answers you’re hoping to find.
Q: Dear Kara, I have a friend who always makes snarky and condescending comments to me. At first I took it as sarcasm and would just laugh it off, but now it’s really starting to bother me. I want to confront her but I don’t know how without making it a huge problem… She’s not one to take criticism.
– Not Amused
A: Dear Not Amused, talking to someone about something they’re doing when it’s obviously hurtful can be a sticky situation. In general, most people don’t want to hurt anyone and she may not even realize she is hurting you. When you decide to bring it up, make sure you acknowledge that she is not a bad person and you’re not attacking her; you’d just prefer to have less of the snarky comments in order to have a more positive and long term friendship.
Q: Dear Kara, I’m worried about having to live with my roommate’s boyfriend. No, we’re not actually living together, but that’s just it! I don’t want him living there, too. I have food and bills to protect! But I’m worried that talking to her about it would cause problems with our friendship, which is rocky as it is.
– The Good Roommate
A: Dear The Good Roommate, you need to be careful not to create imaginary problems before they even begin. It’s easy to anticipate problems and it’s ok to think of possible scenarios and solutions, but don’t let it affect what is to come. You never know what could happen. If it becomes a problem, talk to her about splitting the bills more in your favor and if he eats your food, it’s her responsibility to replace it. Do your best not to cause problems that do not actually exist.
Have a conflict? Need advice? Ask Kara! We’re here to help and it’s completely anonymous! Submit an email to hercampusaskkara@gmail.com and see it published in next week’s article!