I have recently started long distance with my boyfriend of two years. Though he is only two hours away, we are both so busy he might as well be 10 hours away. I’m sure many couples can relate, especially with the start of the new school year. It’s been about three weeks we have been doing long distance and I have picked up some tricks to make it slightly easier, while also keeping the relationship happy, healthy, and respectful.
- Be gentle with each other
The biggest thing you can do is take a deep breath every time you get frustrated, upset, or disappointed. It is hard to make plans when both people are busy, but by being gentle with your significant other and yourself, you will be able to keep the relationship in a healthy state. By being gentle I mean: allowing the other person their space, compromising on the tough subjects, and working on keeping any hardships to a soft conversation instead of letting things escalate. You love each other and you are on the same team. You have been on the same team since the day you got together and you chose each other for a reason. You are partners. Remember that.
- It’s the little things
Remember your significant other’s needs and desires, little or big. Do they love to be told they look beautiful? Do they enjoy making time for nightly facetimes where you can both talk about your days and decompress? Do they like sending gifs back and forth of things that make both of you laugh? Do they need reassurance that you are in this and will fight for them and the relationship? Sometimes a little reminder can go a long way. Little surprise gifts, like flowers or food, can bring happiness to your partner.
- Make the most of the time you have together
No matter if it’s one hour, or three days, take every moment in with your partner. Let them know you are thankful for any time spent together, no matter how long. Each moment you get together is a blessing. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the sadness long distance can bring and forget to cherish the moments we actually spend together. Go on adventurous and spontaneous escapades together. Create new memories and do things you don’t normally do. Or, stay home and cuddle while watching your favorite show. Just be in the moment with them.
- Be busy/ distracted
The best thing to do when you aren’t with your significant other is to be busy. Join a club, or pick up a hobby. Get yourself out of the house and don’t allow yourself to be alone all the time. Hang out with friends and go out to parties (covid depending). It’s a good idea to work on your friendships during this time. You were dealt a crappy card, but you decided to make this relationship work. In order to do so, you can’t be talking to your partner 24/7 or asking them where they are and what they’re doing all the time. Trust has to be in the relationship and you have to allow yourself and your partner to do things to distract the both of you.
- Do things for yourself
Lastly, do things for yourself. Give yourself a spa night, bake a treat, write a poem, or do something that makes you happy. If you are able to be happy as your own person, without depending on your partner all the time, it will make the long distance all the more easier and the relationship all the more healthy. Take time to be alone too, but not the kind where you are upset about being in a long distance relationship, so you sit at home crying. Go on a run or play some video games. Do things you enjoy doing just because they bring you happiness.