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8 Stages of Getting Blackout Drunk

 

It’s 8pm on Friday night, you’re finally done with classes and exams for the week, and monday seems light years away. You have one goal for this Friday night: getting blackout drunk.

8:30 PM: You grab your outfit and makeup, head to your best friend’s room and blast some music to get ready for whatever the night is about to bring you.

9:00 PM: You take several pre-pre-game shots in your best friend’s room: tonight is not for amateurs, you’re about to get hammered, and you’re not trying to wait a long time to do it.

9:15 PM: Starting to feel the buzz, you grab your girls and head to the pre-game.It’s time to play some slap cup, drink some mixed drinks, take a few more shots, and really start to get this night started.

10:00 PM: By now you are well past tipsy, and you are having a fantastic time. Everyone you love is in this room, you’re sure of it. All you want in this moment is to dance with your friends and a cute boy or two. You head out with everyone from the pre-game to hit the frats.

10:30 PM: You’ve arrived at frat house #1, it’s not very crowded yet, but you’re ready to dance.  You grab a mixed drink and immediately start dancing. Several drinks later, after “Closer” has played at least twice, one of your friends grabs your arm and tells you to come with them to a different frat. You say yes, of course, and head out.

12:00 AM: By now you are belligerently drunk, singing loudly while walking another party, shouting at your friends, openly carrying alcohol on the streets, and occasionally falling over. Your friends are video taping you for their Snapchat stories, laughing at you. You arrive at frat house #2 and immediately grab another drink.

1:30 AM: By now you have made out with a cute stranger you just met, danced with your friends for hours, and lost track of the amount of drinks you’ve consumed. You’ve just finished taking your third shot off a ski, and you’re hungry. The thought of mozzarella sticks from Uni Mini has consumed you, so you round up all your friends to head out and get some food.

2:00 AM: You’ve arrived at Uni Mini and have decided that you really need two orders of motz sticks, not just one. You order your food from the rude men behind the counter, ignoring their judgemental stares, and start walking home. Suddenly, you are really not feeling well. Your friends take you back to your dorm room, and your roommate sits with you while your body purges itself of all the alcohol you’ve put in it tonight. Afterwards, you get into bed and pass out.  

 

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