(TW; Please do not read if the topic of sexual assault will trigger, upset, anger, hurt you or distress you in any manner)
Sexual assault is a prominent issue in modern times. According to Rainn (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), “millions of women in the United States have experienced sexual assault”(1) with “one out of every 6 women being a victim of sexual assault in her lifetime(1). I am actually one of those women.
To be brief, I was sexually taken advantage of when I was seventeen and the perpetrator was my partner at the time. Sharing the exact details is way too graphic for the article; instead, I plan to utilize the art of poetry. I wish to bring awareness to sexual assault, be an advocate, be a leader, be supportive, help others, share my story and implement change. Sexual assault and the journey that victims endure often does not get spoken about. I am here to change that.
Here are some poems I wrote:
Silence
You were the painter,
and my body was your canvas.
You splattered blood all over,
You left your mark.
You saw the stains on my skin,
But not the ones on my heart.
You thought I wanted it,
You thought I was into it.
I suffered through it all,
Because I loved you.
I sat there,
In complete silence.
Silence is an answer,
And silence matters.
Silence is impactful,
And choosing silence is a battle to overcome.
I am a Human Being
I am not a toy,
I am not an object.
I am a human being.
I have a heart,
I have a soul
I am a human being.
I am a woman,
I am eighteen.
I am a human being.
I am a daughter,
I am a sister and a friend.
I am a human being.
You ask for consent,
You do not just do.
I am a human being.
I am deserving,
I have value.
I am a human being.
Respect me,
Or leave.
I am a human being.
Contrasts
What do you fear?
I fear men
You fear nothin’.
What are your flaws?
I am over-emotional and lack trust,
You’re not able to control your lust.
How do you feel?
I am hurt,
You feel happy as you remove another woman’s skirt.
How do you live your life?
I live cautiously and I am alert,
You live reckless and act like a flirt.
Do you not see?
The differences between you and me.
You live without a care,
I am damaged which is completely unfair.
I hope someday you will realize the pain you dealt,
I hope someday you will know how I felt.
I hope you enjoyed the pieces that I made to replicate my personal journey with sexual assault. I hope that if you have ever experienced sexual assault, these pieces have inspired you and motivated you in some manner. Remember, you are never alone. Someone will always be there to support you in your struggles. You can overcome any battle. There is always a rainbow after every storm. Since I have moved on, life has been so much better. I am in a loving relationship, have supportive friends, met new people, I am a full-time nursing student, I have outstanding academics, I am involved in many clubs and activities, I have gone on so many adventures in the past year, I am successful, I am happy and I am at peace. Also, you are never defined by your perpetrator. You define yourself. You are full of immense beauty, so capable and have so much value. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to have this space and allowing me to share my story. I wish you well.
Listed below are resources to utilize if you have ever been sexually assaulted or if you know someone who has been. You are also always welcomed to personally message me on any of my social media platforms or emails.
Resources and References
General Information:
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: National hotline, operated by RAINN, that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search your local center here. Hotline: 800.656.HOPE
- National Sexual Violence Resource Center: This site offers a wide variety of information relating to sexual violence including a large legal resource library.
- National Organization for Victim Assistance: Founded in 1975, NOVA is the oldest national victim assistance organization of its type in the United States as the recognized leader in this noble cause.
- National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence hosts a resource library home of thousands of materials on violence against women and related issues, with particular attention to its intersections with various forms of oppression.
- U.S. Department of Justice: National Sex Offender Public Website: NSOPW is the only U.S. government Website that links public state, territorial, and tribal sex offender registries from one national search site.
- The National Center for Victims of Crime: The mission of the National Center for Victims of Crime is to forge a national commitment to help victims of crime rebuild their lives. They are dedicated to serving individuals, families, and communities harmed by crime.
- National Street Harassment Hotline: Created by Stop Street Harassment, Defend Yourself, and operated by RAINN, the National Street Harassment Hotline is a resource for those affected by gender-based street harassment. Support is available in English and Spanish: call 855.897.5910 or chat online.
College Students:
- NotAlone.gov: A government website dedicated to educating students and schools about Title IX and sexual assault.
- Know Your IX: Provides information for students about their Title IX rights in regards to ending sexual violence on campus.
- End Rape on Campus: An advocacy organization dedicated to assisting students file Title IX complaints.
Domestic, Dating and Intimate Partner Violence:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Through this hotline an advocate can provide local direct service resources (safehouse shelters, transportation, casework assistance) and crisis intervention. Interpreter services available in 170 languages. They also partner with the Abused Deaf Women’s Advocacy Center to provide a videophone option. Hotline: 800.799.SAFE
- National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline: This online helpline assists teens who are, or may be, in abusive relationships.
- Pathways to Safety International: The center serves abused Americans, mostly women and children, in both civilian and military populations overseas. In addition to providing domestic violence advocacy, safety planning and case management, the center assists victims with relocation, emergency funds for housing and childcare, and funds for payment of legal fees.
- National Coalition against Domestic Violence: The national coalition of Domestic Violence organizations is dedicated to empowering victims and changing society to a zero tolerance policy.
Legal Resources:
- Womenslaw.org: Information about restraining orders and other legal protections for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.
- The Laws in Your State: A database of state laws including mandatory reporting, confidentiality laws, HIV/AIDS testing of sexual offenders, termination of rapists’ parental rights, and statutes of limitations for each state.
- Attorney Referral Line: Refers callers to attorneys in their geographic area who can represent them in their pursuit of civil claims and victim restitution. The referral line is not an anonymous service. Their website also gives information about civil lawsuits. Phone: 202.467.8716
- Take Back The Night Foundation: Legal support for survivors in every state. Referrals to counseling, support, legal aid, hospitals, and nearest TBTN Event Holders. Hotline: 866.966.9013
- It Happened to Alexa Foundation: The ‘It Happened to Alexa Foundation’ supports rape survivors through the trauma of the criminal trial, in the hopes that more survivors will go through with the prosecution in order to put these perpetrators behind bars.
- U.S. Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division: Call or email to report sexual harassment in housing. 844.380.6178 or fairhousing@usdoj.gov.
Male Survivors:
- 1in6: Provides educational information and resources for men who’ve been sexually abused or assaulted. Chat with a trained advocate through the national helpline for men, available 24/7. Join a weekly chat-based online support group, facilitated by a counselor. 1in6 also serves loved ones and service providers.
- Jimhopper.com: This site has articles that discuss the effects of child sexual abuse on adult men and their loved ones.
- Malesurvivor.org: This site has information and a therapist search for male survivors of sexual violence.
Medical/Physical Health:
- Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE): The SANE/SART program offers sensitive, caring, and supportive care following a sexual assault. Their website provides a list of Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) programs in each state. These specialists are registered nurses, who have advanced education in forensic examination of sexual assault victims.
- Healthcare Center Directory: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services maintains a Healthcare Center Directory. This directory lists federally funded health centers that provide a variety of services even if the recipient does not have health insurance. Users pay a co-payment based on their income. These health centers generally provide primary care services. Phone: 877.464.4772
- The Center For Disease Control National Prevention Information Network (AIDS/HIV, STI Information): U.S. reference, referral, and distribution service for information on HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Hotline: 800.458.5231
- International Association of Forensic Nurses: An international membership organization comprised of forensic nurses working around the world and other professionals who support and complement the work of forensic nursing.
- Start Your Recovery: Substance abuse information that relates to a survivors’s experience with seuxal assault.
Mental Health:
- Sidran Traumatic Stress Foundation: The Sidran Institute provides information on traumatic stress (including PTSD), dissociative disorders, and co-occurring issues such as addictions, self-injury, and suicidal behaviors.
- GoodTherapy.org: GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries worldwide who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
- Psychology Today: Find detailed professional listings for treatment centers in the United States and Canada.
- National Eating Disorder Helpline: Information, crisis and referral hotline for people dealing with eating disorders. Helpline: 800.931.2237
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Provides information and referral services, not counseling. Helpline: 888.950.NAMI (6264)
- Hope Exists After Rape Trauma: The mission of Hope Exists After Rape Trauma (H-E-A-R-T) is to provide HOPE for victims of sexual assault through the provision of essential and therapeutic support, by affecting positive change in laws influencing their lives, and by educating both the public and professionals commissioned to serve victims.
Sexual Assault Prevention:
- National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center: Sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, this website to be useful to scientists, practitioners, advocates, grassroots organizations, and any other professional or layperson interested in current topics related to violence against women and its prevention.
- Project Respect: Project Respect aims to create discussions and share a positive alternative model of relationships for youth.
- PreventConnect: The goal of PreventConnect is to advance the primary prevention of sexual assault and relationship violence by building a community of practice among people who are engaged in such efforts.
- Campus Outreach Services: Offer information and expertise to schools on sexual violence, diversity, sexual harassment, bullying, hate crimes, healthy relationships, assertiveness, eating disorders, suicide, and related risk issues.
- The Date Safe Project: The DATE SAFE Project, Inc. provides positive how-to skills and helpful insights for addressing verbal consent (asking first), respecting of boundaries, sexual decision-making, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors (opening the door for family and friends).
- Child Help: Speak Up Be Safe: Childhelp Speak Up Be Safe is a newly developed, school-based, child abuse prevention education program that focuses on child safety. It is an evolution of Good Touch Bad Touch.
- Men Can Stop Rape: Men Can Stop Rape seeks to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women.
- Cyber Bullying Research Center: A clearinghouse for information regarding cyberbullying.
Suicide and Self-Harm:
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Provides crisis suicide intervention, self-harm counseling and assistance, and local mental health referrals. Calls are routed to local centers. Hotline: 800.273.TALK (8255) and for the Spanish line call 888.628.9454 or TTY: 800.799.4TTY (4889)
For International Resources, please click here.For statistics on Sexual Assault, please click here.