My boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 year and 2 months now, and we’ve been doing the whole college distance thing since August. He commutes to college at home while I’m an hour and 45 minutes away. I usually go home to visit family and spend time with him every other weekend, sometimes two weekends in a row, depending on what’s going on. We are very fortunate to see each other so often, and the school/relationship balance seems to be going well. However, classes, clubs, and work sometimes get in the way of communication between us, and it can feel very lonely.
Before we started our relationship, we established that we wanted to prioritize ourselves first and communicate all the time. This means that school and work are prioritized over getting to hang out sometimes because, as college students, we believe it’s important to work on success towards your degree. This past weekend I went home to see family, friends, and eventually my boyfriend on Sunday night after work. He worked every other day and night during the weekend, so this was the only time we were able to see each other. Unfortunately, due to the number of hours he worked the past week, he was very exhausted and wasn’t feeling up for hanging out that night. Hearing this was extremely devastating for me, considering I’m not home that much in the first place. I won’t be home for another 2 weeks to see him as well. I came back to campus early last night and just cried. I knew the relationship was going to be difficult in college, but I didn’t understand the sacrifices I was going to have to make for it to work as well.
While on campus, I usually like to listen to music, watch Netflix, take a walk, and work out to pass the time. An occasional FaceTime with my mom helps too. Reminding myself of the end goal in my relationship and what my ultimate goal is in school comforts me as well. My boyfriend makes the sacrifice every weekend to work hard and earn money, while I must make the sacrifice to prioritize my school work and be understanding and grateful for the time I do get to see my boyfriend. My advice for others going through something similar would be to work on your own personal goals during the day, communicate with your partner at the end of the day, and set aside time to spend together in person, if possible (make yourself aware that things always change and this time might not work out when it comes around). As long as you communicate with your partner and are open about your feelings (even when it’s negative), look at the positives, and it will work out for you in the end.