I confess–being in self isolation has definitely kept me overly dependent on my phone and social media. With a lot of the extra free time I have when I’m not doing online school, I find myself perusing countless videos on Tik Tok, because.. what else is there to do?
Ok in all seriousness, there are a lot of better things I could be doing with my time. Although, in my seasoned experience scrolling through Tik Tok videos, I noticed a certain trend that doesn’t sit quite well with me…Girls Ask Guys videos. If you’ve ever come across these videos, it’s typically an audio of girls asking arbitrary questions to guys, and many guys feel compelled to duet these videos and offer their opinions. For example:
“Do you prefer curly hair or straight hair?”
“Do you get freaked out when you see us without makeup for the first time?”
“Does weight really matter?”
“What’s the first thing you notice about a girl?”
Now, some people may think I’m reading too deep into this…but why do we rarely see Guys Ask Girls videos? Why do constantly see girls asking for validation from guys…and so many guys accept it? These videos are very indicative of the pressure we put on girls and young women in society. The double standards in how our bodies and clothing choices are perceived, and even the most miniscule aspects of our appearances.
Not only that, but the duets to these videos are endless. Guys will answer these questions often in a very blunt manner, unabashed in their comments on girls’ weight or the body parts that they first take notice of. Comments under these videos show girls either pleased with some of their responses, or telling of how some of the responses from the young men have made them even more insecure. I notice that a lot of comments from guys will often poke fun at the video, enabling the behavior and crude responses.
This needs to stop on both sides. Young women shouldn’t profit their self love from approval of adolescent boys on these apps. Our worth should be based on our own happiness and the love we glean from the people we surround ourselves with. Secondly, the young men that respond to these questions may recognize how random these questions are, and yet they still feel obligated to put their two cents in. Not everything needs a reaction, especially when it could be making a whole demographic of women have even lower self esteem.