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Ask Trevor: Stalking, Does He Like Me, and the Phrase “Turn Up”


Where does the boundary lie between excessive admiration and stalking?

I would say it lies somewhere between going through someone’s Facebook photos and going through their mail, the latter being illegal. Actually, that’s a good indicator: if you’re pretty sure whatever you’re doing is illegal, you have likely passed the point of simple “admiration.” But in all seriousness, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone. I think you can look at any photos or information they have made public on social media without being considered a “stalker.” Once you start eavesdropping on their conversations, however, whether in person or online, then you have definitelycrossed a boundary. But why would you want to even risk being stalker-ish anyway? Honestly, the best way to get to know a person is from direct interaction with them. Work up the courage to talk to them. It doesn’t have to be in person. Tweet them or send them a Facebook message! Trust me, you might be pleasantly surprised at the results!

How do we know if a guy likes us? Where is the line between friendship and someone having feelings? Especially when they are kind of a shy and not-so-forward guy?

Chocolates. Flowers. Engagement rings. Helping raise your child. These are all good signs to look for to discern if a guy likes you. Okay, I’ll be real: most guys don’t like to be cryptic or secretive about liking someone, so if a guy hasn’t made it plainly obvious beyond any doubt that he’s interested in you, he’s most likely either shy or just plain isn’t into you. At that point, you only have two options: either try to forget about it or engage him yourself to find out for sure. That can be scary, but when it comes to relationships (or seeking a relationship) communication is paramount. If you’re not willing to make a move yourself to show/tell him you’re interested, you can’t reasonably expect him to do so either. Sure you have to be ready for the possibility of rejection, but that’s just a part of life. As for the line between friendship and romantic feelings, it’s not always so easy to distinguish. I believe you can be extremely devoted to someone and care deeply about them while still being just friends. If a friend is interested in being more than just friends, they will likely make some sort of move sooner or later. If not, and you still feel they might want to be more than friends, you might just have to make the move yourself. You never know: when you’re waiting for that special someone to make a move, they may just be waiting for the same from you!

Dear Trevor, how exactly does one “turn up”? Sincerely, Confused.

Well, Confused, I’m glad you’ve asked! In order to “turn up,” one must first go missing. Then, allow yourself to be found. Voila! You have “turnt up”!

Trevor is a senior Creative Writing major at John Carroll University and an aspiring fiction writer. He hopes to pursue an MFA in Creative Writing. He enjoys words and storytelling, and he has also been known to enjoy mozzarella sticks.
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