After three years or so of being in school, I considered that my senior year I should have pepper spray with me for my own protection. Why I waited so long or why I didn’t buy one freshman year you may ask? I didn’t think that I needed one. Let me explain. The summer before freshman year, my father sat down with and told me that I should have some sort of “weapon” to protect myself. He offered buying a taser or a small pocket knife. I understood why he wanted me to have something to protect myself – many girls are assualted while being in school. But my own naïve mind said that shouldn’t matter to me because those assaults usually happen at parties and I don’t party. So I pushed it off and just used the old techniques that I was taught in school: the buddy system, if you’re walking alone at night call someone, or hold your key in your pocket so that way if someone tries to jump you, then you can attack.
Sophomore year was the same thing. Since I lived in the suites, I felt like I was super protected by the security system. When I started to go to more parties, I became really cautious of what I was drinking and would make sure that I got the cup myself – Just in case someone tried to drug me. I made sure that I was never alone and that I walked back home with someone I knew. But junior year something happened – I became educated about sexual assault. Now let me clarify: I knew girls don’t just get raped at parties, but I felt like most of the campus reports happen at parties. That doesn’t make their assault anymore real, but it did narrow my perspective of college assaults (I was naïve).
Junior year, I started to intern at the Public Defender’s office and I started to hear all the cases that were getting pulled. A lot of the sex crimes were happening in parking lots and dorm rooms. When a good friend of mine was sexually assaulted, I decided that I needed to protect myself. So the summer of senior year, I decided to buy a pepper spray as a means of protection. I was at my local post office and saw it hanging behind the counter. I asked the clerk for it and before she rang up my spray, she went off on a whole lecture about how to properly use the pepper spray. Something that stuck with me is that if I were to ever get pulled over, I have to let the police officer know I have a pepper spray.
It wasn’t until after my purchase that I noticed how much trouble it was to have pepper spray on you. I put the pepper spray on my key chain – mostly for others to see it and not bother me. But if I were to go into stores, many would ask if I could hide it. When I would get to work in the courthouse, I had to hand over my keys until my shift was over because it could potentially cause harm to someone. I was upset because something that was meant to protect me was actually just causing me more trouble. Now, I either leave it at home or in my bookbag. Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe that all girls should have something like pepper spray to protect themselves. Unfortunately, there seems to be a stigma attached to self-defense items like pepper spray.