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Sugar, Spice, & Everything Nice: Sex

Dear, Collegiettes:

As the saying goes, sex sells.  You guys seem to love the topic, so I thought maybe I should share my opinion.

Sex is great. It feels nice, it’s fun; you know all of this. But too often, I see sex producing unfortunate results, such as sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and broken hearts.

Which brings us to this week’s topic: Sex.

The message I have for you this week is this: be picky about who you sleep with.

I know what you’re thinking, this is college, man! You must be a prude! But I can assure you, I am not a prude and I know we’re in college. Hear me out.

I once went out to a party with a friend of mine, she met a cute guy and spent all night flirting with him, I’m talkin’ hair twirling and everything. At the end of the night, she told me that they both really liked each other and she went home with him. She spent the next day gushing to me about her romantic night. But there was one problem; he still hadn’t called. After waiting two weeks to hear from this “prince charming” she was convinced that she had only been one thing to him: a one-night-stand.

I really believe that sex can be a beautiful thing, when shared between two people who genuinely care for each other. Over time, society has made casual sex preferable to sex within a committed relationship. If you go out to a party and hook up with a random guy, you are putting yourself at high risk for many things. This boy may be cute and charming but he could carry any STD. I’m not saying that every guy you meet has an STD, but when you hook up with a guy you don’t know what you could be getting yourself into.

And what if you aren’t just looking for a casual hook-up? What if you hook up with a guy and you are expecting him to pursue you because you guys “shared something special” and he “seemed so nice” and he “said all of these sweet things”? Get a grip. I am not saying that he won’t call the next morning, but he may not want the same thing you want?

When you have sex with someone, at the point of orgasm a hormone called “Oxytocin” is released in both males and females, but females produce much more of this hormone for maternal purposes. The hormone deepens feelings of attachment and closeness to someone, this makes it much harder to get over that one-night stand.

Let’s be real, here. The rules that apply to men do not apply to woman, not even the slightest bit. If a man sleeps around he’s “cool” but if a woman does she’s a “whore.” If a man shows a deep interest in a woman he’s “sweet” but if a woman does the same thing she’s “clingy.” It’s not fair at all, but that’s the way society is. Therefore, if you act like a guy, if you do what a guy does, you won’t get the response that a guy gets. You may even gain a bad reputation, and it’s much easier to gain a bad reputation than it is to build a good one. Save yourself the time and pain; be picky about who you sleep with.

I am not against sex, but I believe it is best when it is with someone you deeply care for- and who deeply cares for you. You are worth more than a mere hook-up.

I understand you’re a college-aged female and your sexual prowess is at an all-time high. But what would happen if you said no to that random guy who hit on you at the bar? What if you didn’t take him home? What if you made him wait, made him get to know you? What’s the worst that could happen?



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