Elevators are not my favorite thing in the world. They’re dirty, usually unstable, and sometimes scary. You already know though if I have the choice between elevators and escalators, it will be an elevator. Well, in college, obviously we have to go upstairs to get to our classes. Sometimes I sit there, and I think ‘what is wrong with these people?” They will go to the length to walk up from the basement to the 3rd floor, 6 flights of like 14 stairs. That literally blows my mind. We are paying money to fund the school to come here which includes the commodities of the different buildings. Why would I want to walk up to the 3rd floor when there is an elevator?
I don’t know if I have just lived by this so this is how I feel or if others relate but, I see a stigma with elevators that people stand by. People judge others that use the elevator as they seem lazy and in cases like mine, all I can think of is how they are saying in their head “she is so fat” or “this is why she’s so big, use the stairs”. I will have no idea if others think this but this is what is going through my mind.
I think as a bigger person I assume everyone thinks I am huge every second of the day. Anywhere I go, this has made me feel bad about myself. I’ll have to talk about amusement parks another time, don’t even get me started on them. Amusement parks are an example of a place I know I will not have fun because of these thoughts. Sometimes though, I walk up the stairs. Not because I want to sweat, or because the elevator is broken down. This is because I feel judged even if I have no clue who that person is or ever will be.
Something that follows this is heavy breathing. So after I walk up 6 flights of stairs, I can’t breathe. If I can’t breathe, I walk into a silent room heaving like a pug. This also makes me think people are judging me. You can tell me they don’t think I am huge because I’m heavy breathing whereas other people walk in and somehow, they are fine (prob cause they took the elevator). If you cannot relate, please strive to be kinder to us bigger girls. We are all full of love, human, and judgment hurts. You have no clue why I have a weight problem nor is it your business. If you can relate, remember, you pay for the elevator, you will probably never see these judgmental people, and not everyone is judging you like you think they are.