While we break out the shorts and flip flops, our hearts begin to thaw after a long winter. Love is in the air, as you begin to notice how much cuter that guy in your algebra looks in shorts and a t-shirt. One thing leads to another and, suddenly, your small crush has turned into a casual spring fling.
For most of us, casual escalates to something more, at least in our minds. How do you turn this spring fling into the real thing? How do you let him know that you want something a little more serious?
That’s how. The biggest problem relationships face is a lack of communication between partners. I know you’re nervous about “scaring him off” with talk of a greater commitment, but you need to state your expectations, loud and clear. There are two ways to go about doing so: the less intimidating, time-consuming way and the blunt, lay it all on the line way.
If you just can’t bring yourself to ask him straight up where he sees this going, try hinting towards your expectations.When he holds your hand, kisses your forehead, or offers to help you with that algebra homework, say something like, “I really like it when you do that, I wish you would more often.” In implying that you see a future, no matter now nearsighted, with him, you will open his eyes to a future with you, as well. This approach, however, runs the risk of taking a long time.Results may not be seen for several weeks, during which your hopes may soar too high for him to meet.
I suggest a forward thinking conversation. Let your fling know that you have been having a great time and that you love being with him, but that you need a bigger commitment. If you don’t ask for what you want in a relationship, you will never get it. While this approach is more aggressive, it will give you an answer right away, no waiting game involved. Don’t spend your time on a guy who doesn’t want the same type of relationship you do. The harsh truth is, it will never work out.
How do you turn a spring fling into the real thing? How do you get what you want and need out of any relationship? Talk it out.
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