God Bless The Broken Road That Led Me To Be Strong
It takes one day, one event, one minute for life to do a complete 360 on you. If anyone knew me before 2018, everyone knew I was easy to walk all over. I just agreed with everyone so I wouldn’t have to deal with confrontation, and I wouldn’t upset anyone. If there was a guy in my life, I made sure he was always happy. I didn’t care about myself at all. I just cared about making everyone else happy.
The first moment that threw me for a spin happened on the 25th of January, 2018. Ever since that day, life hasn’t been the same. I haven’t been the same. But I’m incredibly thankful for it now. I was shown that no matter how well you treat someone, no matter how much you give up for someone, and no matter who you are to someone, they will not always treat you with the same respect. They will not care for you the way you care for them. They will not care about what they have done to you. I will say that I am thankful for that day, though that day, a part of me died.
Months after, I stuck up for myself. I didn’t settle for what I was being told. I didn’t settle for no answers. Though, my old self came out again, I did settle for less than I deserved. While settling for dirt, I did put myself first in some aspects. I put school first, I took care of my health, and I put my family first. I wouldn’t back down, it started fights beyond fights, but I didn’t care. I cared about me.
Then April came around. Time to tell everyone that I was settling for less than I deserved. (Which I was completely still brainwashed, might I add.) Of course my family knew I deserved better. But I couldn’t let go of what I thought could be. I had to confront my family and tell them that this is how I am going to live. After weeks of fighting, they gave up trying to get through to me. I understand they must have been super frustrated with me, and God bless them for putting up with me. My point here is, I started to retract into my old self a little bit. I put someone who didn’t care in front of my family. Therefore, putting that someone in front of my well-being and healthy mental state.
The wonderful months of June and July. I was fighting every night. For hours, I had to make sure they were happy. They were okay. But no one was checking on me? I had broke. I cried, really sobbed, every day for hours on end. At that point, I wanted to give up on life. Then life decided to throw everything it could at me, when I was countless hours away from home. After days of hell, I came back home on July 4, 2018. I hugged my mom, I hugged my sobbing father. I promised I would go back to my stronger self. I promise I would move past this and be better. Boy I was wrong.
August 11, 2018. The day I completely changed. The day I had prayed for. The day my life got 1000 times better. I was strong. I accepted the fact that I deserve a whole lot more than crying every day. I put my family first. I put myself first. Ever since that day, I’ve made so many great friends, my health has been amazing, most importantly, I became as strong as ever. I refuse to settle for anything less just to make another person happy. I refuse to not say what’s on my mind. I refuse to not be happy.
I thank God everyday for the 360 life change that he decided to throw at me that day. I am truly blessed for every bad thing that has happened, because it made me as strong as I am now. So many people around me, for great reasons, wish they could have taken the pain away from me. But I wouldn’t take it away for a second. If it wasn’t for that one minute, one random reaction, I wouldn’t be strong, I wouldn’t have put me first, and I wouldn’t be this happy.